Modern society has put a strange burden on youngsters, particularly men who’re about to have sex for the first time. Chances are that they’ve seen movies or porn where everything goes perfectly, where there are no clumsy movements and whatever men do drives women crazy. Sadly, real life is not choreographed and your first time will be awkward. The important thing is to not get nervous and just enjoy the moment. Here are some tips to make the first time more fun:
Don’t forget the condoms
An important thing you need to keep in mind is that you should carry protection whenever on a date or even if you don’t think sex is in the offing. Many a times, people don’t carry condoms and in the heat of the moment end up having unprotected sex which can lead to unwanted pregnancies or STDs.
Enjoy the moment
A lot of time sex becomes a sort of an ego game where men are worried about whether they’re doing it right and pleasing their women. Stop being nervous and simply enjoy the moment. Forget everything you’ve ever seen in the movies and porn because that’s not real. Just enjoy being with her, remember that it’s not a game or something to make you a stud but a close moment with your partner that you will cherish in times to come.
Give foreplay the time it deserves
One common complaint that women have is that men don’t spend enough time on foreplay. What you need to realise is that there’s far more to sex than just penetrative sex. Outercourse is an umbrella term that refers to all forms of sexual acts except penetration which includes kissing, foreplay, oral sex, mutual masturbation, necking, dry humping, rubbing, massages, mammary intercourse and much more. A lot of women have trouble reaching orgasm through vaginal intercourse and giving them an orgasm through either fingering or oral sex could be the way to go. Read on to find out more about outercourse.
It may hurt
Sometimes sex can hurt for the first time. The tip of your penis could be sensitive or it may hurt her. Dyspareunia or pain during sex is a fairly common phenomenon among women; one out of five women experiences it at least once in their lives. Mostly, it’s due to lack of lubrication so keep that in mind and keep some handy.
Don’t buy into myths
There are a lot of myths about female virginity, the most common being that all women bleed the first time they have sex. People believe that this is due to the hymen breaking, but hymen breakage has nothing to do with virginity. It can break due to vigorous exercise or even due to activities like cycling. And even if your partner’s not a virgin, it shouldn’t bother you (unless you’re a chauvinist male pig).
Communicate and ask her what she wants
One of the most common problems new couples have in the bedroom is that they don’t discuss sex or talk about it. You should do better and talk to your partner about any inhibitions or fears that you or they have about intercourse. Ask them what pleases them and what they expect out of sex. Be frank about your own expectations and explain that it might not be very good the first time but you’re going to try your best.
Expect issues like premature ejaculation and erection issues
Sometimes the pressure of having sex for the very first time might get to you and you could suffer erection issues or premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation is fairly common because of the way sex feels for the very first time. If you do come too quickly don’t worry about it, premature ejaculation should go away in time once your body gets used to rigours of vaginal intercourse. Another issue you could face is a weak or no erection. This is mostly due to the psychological pressure of this being your first time and you shouldn’t worry about it because the problem will resolve itself. However, if it does continue you should visit a doctor because erectile dysfunction could be a symptom of diabetes or heart disease.
Don’t fret if she doesn’t orgasm
Many women find it hard to ejaculate through vaginal intercourse and the only thing that works for them is clitoral stimulation. It’s important to not worry about it. If you find it hard to make her orgasm through vaginal intercourse, you can always try to make her orgasm through oral sex or fingering. Remember that the penis isn’t the only sexual organ you have.
It will get better…
The most important thing you’ve to keep in mind is that NO ONE is good the first time. Sex like everything else takes practise and you will get better with experience. So don’t worry about it and just enjoy your first time.
