Hello, my name is Joyce and I am a student at Makerere University Business School (MUBS). My boyfriend and I have been dating almost two years now. A few months ago, I got pregnant by mistake and we decided to get an abortion, as we weren’t ready to be parents.
For the most part, I have dealt with this, and our relationship has never been stronger. The problem is his mother really wants grandkids and keeps tagging me in baby stuff online asking if she should buy it for us and such. This has really been bothering me because we both have told her we won’t be having a kid for many years- at least not until we’re done with school and have a source of income.
How should I deal with this? I have talked to him about it and he just kind of brushes it off because his mother is extremely difficult. She fights with everybody but we get along well other than this issue. Since this started happening, almost everything she does now drives me crazy. Please help me figure out how to deal with my potential future mother-in-law.
First of all, as Campus Bee, we don’t encourage abortion in any way, but since it has already been done, the least we can do now is advise you accordingly.
This is obviously a tough situation but I want you to remember that you have a choice in the matter. You are the one who knows best what you need to feel healthy and secure.
Obviously, your boyfriend understands his family better and you should be respectful of his preferences, just as you’d want him to be respectful of yours. But it’s not fair for him to just brush off this conversation. Tell him it’s time for a real talk, sit him down and talk deeply about the issue at hand.
If there’s one thing I understand about abortion, as a guy, it’s that most guys don’t understand what it’s like to have an abortion. He may have the best intentions in the world and think that he’s got a handle on how you feel, but he probably just plain doesn’t get it. He might never. But he does sound like he’s trying, and you should continue trying to explain it to him.
It’s fair to remind him that, no matter how supportive he has been, you’re the one who’s been dealing with this primarily, and you’re being extremely reasonable to ask for a little help.
Or, as a lady who has a right to speak up should tell her to chill out on the baby talk, she might respect you for that and at least you will have one thing off your plate.
Regards.
