Joyful and hopeful, Maria (not real name) a student at MUBS ditched her girl friend’s evening plot because Bob (not real name) her boyfriend a student at MAK had called her to his place. It had been a while since Bob and Maria had met physically, blame it on tests and coursework deadlines. So she took this as a chance to relax and relieve some stress with her boyfriend, little did she know that Bob had something else in stock.
She got there early, she always did, because Bob wasn’t just any guy, he was bae/boo/boyfriend. He acted it up, acted nice, made her relax, sexed the stress out of her bones and out of the blue thunderous slaps started to rain, Maria asked why she was being beaten and Bob claimed she was cheating on him with a certain Louis. When she tried to deny the allegations, more slaps met her face and body and no one came to her rescue even when she was screaming. She later left Kare Hostel after the dark had crowded with a beaten face, sore lips, teary eyes and a broken heart.
We might not want to believe it, but there is a lot of violence in relationships and hostel rooms. love has turned into a den of violence, should I call it domestic violence, relationship violence or abusive relationships?
“My boyfriend was a psycho, he used to slap me if I talked to any of his friends for more than 5 minutes, his insecurity was murderous,” shares Janet an IT student at MAK.
A man who beats his woman is not considered man enough, because a man is supposed to protect his woman, not be her tormentor. Some guys blame it on feminism, claiming that the breeze of feminism comes with the air of self entitlement and ‘kajanja’ and other guys are just overly insecure.
Kato from Kyambogo says: “I have dated a girl before and she was a feminist. I didn’t even know what feminism even meant by then and I treated her with respect but one day I just burst out and beat her to pulp because of her ‘kajanja’ when she told me that *doggy style* is demeaning to women like her, feminists.”
Reuben, a custodian at Olympia Hostel when quizzed, tells this website that they never receive cases of violence. “I can’t rule out that it never happens but the victims never report these cases to us,” he adds.
Miriam Ayebare, a councellor at YMCA Wandegeya says that female university students should end the relationship as soon as they detect signs of a violent partner. “He is not your husband, you aren’t married so you have to end it as soon he raises his hand to hit you. Don’t even think twice. Also, you have to report such cases to the university adminstration,” she advises.
There should never be justification for beating a woman or beating a man but the case of abusive relationships or rather relationship violence keeps getting worse because many girls are willing to stay in these relationships and no one knows why.
