You have probably encountered one, or at the least evesdropped on a conversation involving a MUK guy; bragging about how good he is in bed – just because they have fat wallets: swelling from the red condoms distributed free of charge by government in Makerere. The nagging fellow might have been one of your ‘guy friends’, who promised to dig your uterus inside-out, if you ever gave him a chance to chew your cookie. These threats, however hyperbolic, might or might not have truth to them, so I present to you the reasons that make an average university student a big-time egomaniac:
Natural Viagra.
I don’t know whether it is because of the hassle involved in getting the real Viagra, or the risk of the girl not appearing after taking it, but MUK dudes are ‘Mirondo’ addicts. These roots which they darlingly call ‘power banks’ apparently work miracles for them, when they chew on them, coupled with dry coffee-beans.
Skill at down-south tongue games.
Very few Africans; Ugandans in particular, like to give or receive cunnilingus. Even among the few that do it, a bigger percentage doesn’t know how to do it right. The campus guy knowing how talented he is at this art of the tongue, and the satisfaction that comes with it, unapologetically throws his ego right in your face.
Watching a lot of adult content.
The guy probably thinks that expertise in watching every episode of Game Of Thrones, will translate to expertise in the Game Of Sex. Sad!
Mistaking ego for good seduction game. When his boys praise him for laying all the hot girls in class, he automatically feels he owes it all to his vanity, so he keeps up the egocentrism.
He’s capitalizing on your stereotypes
Campus boys know all the stereotypes you hold towards their colour, height and size, so they take advantage of this. That’s why a pitch-black Mutooro boy will pretend to be a Dinka, if he notices you are a loose girl.
Delusion by prostitutes.
These boys have a period called ‘Injury Time’. That’s when a month or so has passed without they have tasted the fruits of a woman. In such times, they resort to prostitutes on streets of Nakulabye – who of course have good hospitality. The naïve boys end up taking the false compliments from these cunning businesswomen serious.
Absolute ignorance.
Scientifically, an average man lasts between 6 and 15 minutes for a round of sex. But you will hear these illiterate goats – some of whom could even still be virgins – claiming to last two hours for the first round. Jeez!
Big Cassava.
Some have been through various boarding schools their entire life, and all their friends have unanimously praised how their third leg is bigger than that of a donkey. Beware, little girl!
This situation has been a kind of norm, guys bragging about their sizes and their wrath, it’s never-ending. However there are guys then there are MUK guys, word!
