Ssaasi Marvin
Staying at campus is one hell of a roller-coaster ride. A journey so treacherous that many of our colleagues are thrown off before we even reach our destination – graduation. However, we all have those people with and on whom we hold on until we reach: Friends. Lads and lasses, here are the six types of friends every campuser has or better get while at campus.
The Book Worms.
This one is the sole reason why the makers of Budget Exercise Books are still in business (if you don’t know budget books, you’ve never studied from Uganda). His favorite spots on campus are the Lecture room, the Library and the Dining Hall. Yes, the Dining Hall so that he gets energy to walk to the lecture room and the Library. He usually has no social/night life. Ask him about “happening” and he’ll tell you they’ve not yet covered that course unit. Make matters worse and ask him about ‘Panamera’ or ‘The Hive,’ he’ll be quick to snap “ah, we’ve not studied about that philosopher, yet.” Ask him any further questions and he’ll cut you short: “You are interrupting my revision.” However we all love them, they remind us why we came to campus: to not be like them, because if we wanted to be like them, we would have remained in high school. Also, they are the ones we run to when we need someone to discuss for us.
The Comical Friend.
This one always has interesting jazz. He never bores you. One hour of jazz with him and you start wondering why “Fun Factory” still has no credible competition. He usually backs up his jazz with bodily expressions that are sure to leave you in stitches of laughter. He’s the one you go to when bored as f**k. He tells you stories from the conductor who told a passenger to get out and board a fridge after the latter complained that the taxi is too hot to the cartoon he watched in which a male duck was dating a crocodile in a long-distance relationship. When you go to the University Hospital doctors no longer recommend stress reliever tabs; but him. His stories are usually too funny, too unrealistic to be true. By the time you graduate, you are still not sure whether they were true or not.
The Party Animal
This one is always giving you plot. He knows all the theme nights at all the major clubs around town, and even those ones as far as Juba. According to him, the ability of people to walk at night with a straight posture remains an unproven theory. Friday nights through Saturday never find him in his room. Come Sunday when everyone is preparing for Church, he’s in his bed nursing a major hang-over. Come back from church find him awake, he will give you the longest lecture detailing all the reasons why you should never booze. Interestingly, that lecture never works on him because come Monday, he’ll be off to the vigil of a random stranger just so he can get a free drink to quench his thirst. The best thing with this one is that he usually has free party invites which you share. He’s also the one you arrange with whenever you want a fun-filled night out.
The “Musician”.
He’s the true embodiment of persistence, perseverance, determination and self-delusion combined. He’s unfazed by the fact that for the last , his musical career has never taken off. He’s not even an upcoming artiste, but rather an “I just won’t come” artiste. In his world of music, he maintains that only a frog sings better than him, otherwise he’s better than the rest. As you are in lectures, he’s busy at the top of Mt. Makerere tuning his voice. Rumour has it that at one point, he took part in a singing competition with a one Bebe Cool and he won it – his voice is that bad.
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