Hey Marv,
A few weeks ago, I had an interview with the career office at Smith. Yap, I applied for a job at the Lazarus Center for Career Development. I am only a rising second year student, and to make it even worse, I totally do not know what course I am doing in College yet. I usually become super self-aware when my friends and I attend something and we all have to introduce ourselves. Everyone says their name and course, but as for me, after my introduction, I go like “…and I am still not sure what I am doing in College.” Having to say this all the time for the past few weeks has made me start to feel the pressure to have a course I am taking, because I notice all these “what the hell do you mean?” looks every single time I end my introduction with “and I am not sure what degree I am going to graduate with yet.”
At first, I put myself on so much pressure to figure out the future, to find a major and concentrate only on academics. Also, my friends had started to laugh about the fact that, I, who is still undecided is looking to work as a peer career councilor in the career development office. But of late, I have been thinking of exactly why I think it’s important for me to know what I am doing in College right now. And I honestly can’t find an answer. The real reason is because I feel like everybody around me has it all figured out and I don’t. It’s scary. I want to know. I am desperate to find what I am calling a “purpose” of my being in College right now.
But then, I think that focusing on a career at this point will limit how much I can do with my life, and with my time. And I think I am learning to become more confortable with the fact that I do not have things figured out. I remember applying to attend this seminar and internship in Kenya just because I thought it would help me understand who I am as a person, and therefore help me settle in a career. I have been able to participate in many other priceless ventures with hopes of finding myself. Well, as it appears, I still have not figured things out, but instead of concentrating on the outcome, I have learned to value the skills I am learning from doing these things along the way. I was talking to Ryan, a friend of mine, about how I feel the pressure to have a great course in College, and he asked me why I think I should have things figured out right now. And now I know that he meant it’s perfectly fine to take a long route, or not to know, because by the time you get there, you have immensely gained from the journey already.
Knowing one’s academic path is important, having your course figured out or doing a course you love is important. But I am realizing that there is more to school than just a graduation cap and gown. There is all these lessons that come along the way, which I think we miss if we only concentrate on academics, and on specializing in a particular field. University must be something more than just human interaction and skills, otherwise, we may as well just stay home and buy text books and teach ourselves the skills we need for a job. The fact that we are in school means we should accept to be uncomfortable, we should accept not to know, and we should be willing to challenge ourselves and try new things.
The beauty of not knowing, or not liking what we are already doing, is that we have the liberty to still explore, to seek, and to discover more things that we may be interested in. I know that at home, universities choose a course for a person depending on his/her grade, which gives one less power over his\her career path. But even though you do not get the course you have dreamed of all your life, it should be fine. We need to do more than just classes; we need to take chances; we need to explore. Even when we completely feel like we cannot do it, we don’t lose anything by trying. ‘Coz even in the job market, a proactive person is preferred to a person with the highest GPA, or even a person who took the most straight path!
Rosa (Not rea name)
