It usually happens in a flash. One second you are tipsy and horny in a club seated next to a nice looking girl (well, due to the circumstances, all girls look good) and the next thing it’s morning and some random chic is in your bed.
How do you get her out of that bed and consequently out of your room or apartment?
Being the “experienced in these matters boy” that I am, I definately couldn’t answer that question but of course my editor has to see some work on her desk. So I hit the road and asked campus guys how they do it.
“Hardest two minutes in my life”, Benjamin of second year at Makerere began, “I gazed at the ceiling for about 200 hours contemplating what to tell this girl.” Ben had hooked up with the girl the night before at a club and taken her straight to his residence. “I told her that this being hall, water could go off any minute unexpectedly and she needed to shower as soon as possible.” Fortunately for him, she fell for that trick because what is expected is that after she showers, she’ll definately not go back to bed.
Other guys have used lectures. This is priceless if it is planned overnight.
You have got to set an alarm for 5:30 am and once it goes off, sprout out of bed, scream “lectures, oh shit”, yawn, brush off your morning erection, pull out your towel and head for the shower room.
Ignore morning sex because it will complicate your plan.
#Rule33 of the hook up game is that if there is no morning sex, he wants you out of that place asap. Any smart girl will read the message. If she doesnt, you will be stuck with one more dumb person.
Hook ups and especially one night stands are precise and clear. She knows there is no affection and won’t try to catch feelings. The girlfriend trick therefore comes in handy. Brian of Nana hostel said he told a girl that his girlfriend was coming so she had to go. “I faked a phone call. Told an imaginary figure the other side that I was at my place and she should come”, Brian narrated. The girl, realising that main girl was coming quickly found her way out and disappeared in thin air.
Making up an excuse to send her away and it backfires is sometimes a blessing in disguise. When she learns that you are making up lies to send her away, she will leave. Much as it would definately involve her catching feelings, it usually achieves the goal. She will be pissed, but it is just a hookup – sometimes a one night- stand so unless you want to hit that shit again, this situation is a saviour.
So yeah, hook ups can be fun. But if the girl’s gotta go early enough, she’s gotta go. These excuses are not just classic, they are legendary too.
Gentlemen, help yourself.
