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The Monger Diaries: I Bought Him Land On The Moon But Still Cheated On Me

CB Reporter by CB Reporter
10 years ago
in Ritah Monger Diaries
Reading Time: 3 mins read
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Dear Diary,

Today is valentine day, people in love are bracing themselves for a new wave of experience. After all it’s a day to get showered with objects of affection from a sweetheart.

Who then can blame my nostalgia of last year’s valentine? My Arnold, mysterious, rare, and delicate was an antique to behold. His small challenging sultry eyes felt like they could see into the deepest of my soul. I was helplessly lost in a foggy mystique of passion. Medium built, Arnold was not your normal Mr.Right. However, his elegance, class and arrogance swept me off my feet. I was love struck.

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An antique deserves something to match its worth, something extra-ordinary. Red roses, chocolates, teddy bears, red heart-shaped “I love you” pillows, candle lit dinners are all classy ways to express love on valentine but I wanted something different,something special. I wanted to write Arnold’s name on the stars. Maybe give him a piece of land on the moon. I just needed “Something special for someone extra-ordinary”

I started roaming malls, supermarkets, gift shops, local markets and even watched Telemundo for new love tips and there I got my answer; I decided to imprint Arnold’s name across my heart. Since I am generously endowed with a respectable bust, calligraphy letters spelling out my sweethearts name were inscribed on my left side boob with a slender pretty little rose under marking them. I wasn’t done yet. I was just getting started.

I visited the Quela band to do a gig for me; just like in Mexican movies, but since they were fixed, I settled for Desire Luzinda… yes, you got that right I mean our very own “Ekitone” .

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Ready to unleash my charm, I clad my voluptuous body in the sensuous softness of a blue shimmering dress that I matched with red high-heeled sandals. The low “ v” on my dress gave a good peep at the tattoo on my almost spilling soft mounds. I applied red-hot lip stick until my lips clearly begged to be kissed.

After all that heartful preparation, I got a call from my sweetheart. Like a woman who knows she’s going to give her man the day of his life, I picked up my phone with extra care, deceitfully hiding the bubbling excitement of emotion I was feeling. The slow smile forming on my lips froze when my sweetheart announced that he had to go home to attend to a brother that had gotten ill. I could feel his sorrowful, almost tearful voice as he swore to make it up to me.

Concerned and worried, I decided to make his day better. I had to. I rushed with my “ekitone” and her band to Arnold’s place. The slow music that Arnold so much loves was playing and my hope escalated. Arnold was still home.

Entering his unlocked door, I swayed my hips from side to side like a woman well aware of the charm she possesses; a predator that knows how to hook her prey. I was barely five steps in when I froze in mid-step, my heat clamped with a loud snap that knocked the breath out of me. My surprise turned into hurtful realization when I saw my Arnold kissing a babe. I felt the tears roll down my face as I tried to comprehend the sight before me. My misery turned into desperation. Numb, I slid to the floor and wept a loud ‘WOOWEEE..’ in agonizing pain. I half dazedly remember seeing Arnold running towards me as I unceremoniously dropped to the floor to give off some more heartfelt loud screams that echoed painfully through my dry clogged throat. It is then that a “scripture” I hadn’t heeded sprang to my mind.

“Behold it is written in the book of February chapter 14 verse 1….

And it shall come to pass that on Val’s day, excuses shall arise again;

My battery died, My credit got finished, My Dp refused to change,

My boss selected me for the trip, traffic jam etc… When thou seeth these signs,

Be calm, fear thou not, keep thy peace and know that verily, verily,

Thou art not thy boo boo’s. Thou art a side chick.”

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CB Reporter

CB Reporter

The no.1 campus news site in Uganda. For articles, send us an email on: editorial@campusbee.ug to feature on Campus Bee, Join our WhatsApp group for all the lates news; https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029Va8u5yI1NCrcxsFHQj3v

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The Monger Diaries: Who the hell has a pot in their university residence? Bitten More Than I Could Chew By a Villager

10 years ago

Ritah The Monger: Your Romantic Squabbles Won’t Get You My Cookie.

10 years ago










 




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