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Ritah The Monger: Your Romantic Squabbles Won’t Get You My Cookie.

CB Reporter by CB Reporter
10 years ago
in Ritah Monger Diaries
Reading Time: 3 mins read
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Dear diary,

You know I would really love to give you a lovey- dovey feedback about my week but am in no mood whatsoever to make you smile. Call me a bitch if you want but bet your ass I don’t even give a fucking damn and neither will I give one tomorrow. That’s me, deal with it or simply don’t read this stuff. It’s my fucking diary anyway and nosiness is not a trait I can stand.

I don’t even get where these stupid guys come from and all of a sudden think confessions of love will get them some cookie. Cookie? Uhuh?? Is that what you want? Some cookie? Guess what; you’re not getting anything. Now how about that? Hahahaha. What are you going to do about that? I might just as well take this chance to tell you; the next guy to open their mouth will have their boys cut off. Try me.

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And as if that’s not enough your stupid roomy keeps whispering love nothings on phone whole night. I try to understand. That’s expected …when your fifteen! These things of skipping stages are not allowed. Next time I get a roomy from a single school I will make sure they get briefed. God! Either my head is going to burst or the next time you see me will be on “agataliiko nfuufu” for strangling this skinny, bumless bitch. ARRRGH. I value my sleep.

And now am moving peacefully on the roadside and this stupid carpenter thinks its his job to appreciate my bosom. Excuse me! I know what I have. I practically look at my boobs every day in my shower and I don’t need your dumb ass mouth to tell me that.

Well, this time Wandegeya was about to get a piece of me and Mr. running mouth carpenter was about to get a lesson of his life. He shouted his comments and I moved away but I could not control my anger so I went back, caught his balls from within his overall and commented

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“Well, You could use some help. Your balls feel pretty small” I commented , my voice trembling a little in anger as I looked straight at his face in disgust.

I left the whole street gaping. These street guys think a smartly dressed campuser cannot defend themselves. Well incase one of you is reading. I want to leave word behind for others. You haven’t met Ritah. And please inform the others.

By the way before I sleep off, please, please and please. Never bother to call me at night whether you know how late I sleep or not. I am not your Mama or a police officer on duty.

Uhuhmmm, kati these mbz guys also. You wait till I open a law suit against you. These things of stealing our mbz and assuming we are silly won’t work no more.

Talking about mbs, haha, you look at this bum sending a whatsapp picture that you already have a thousand times. Are you the one that buys my mbs? Please go back and collect your brains from God. You might have left before you got them inserted.

By the way, remind me of who gave you the permission to comment on my dresscode. I don’t know what people want from others but you’re about to get what to bargain for one of these days.

Am not getting all worked up on this. Let me go and have my dear rest. You’re not worth a shit of my time anyway, Assholes… mtsheeew.

Ever been faced with such paranoia?

Well, just make sure you stay far when a girl is about to have her monthly bleeding or else be understanding.

 

 

 

 

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CB Reporter

CB Reporter

The no.1 campus news site in Uganda. For articles, send us an email on: editorial@campusbee.ug to feature on Campus Bee, Join our WhatsApp group for all the lates news; https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029Va8u5yI1NCrcxsFHQj3v

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10 years ago

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10 years ago










 




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