Dear diary,
I have been accused of being bitchy so many times-but I don’t agree. A girl does what they have to, to survive. Does that exactly make me a villain?
Well guess what, I come from a primary school that insisted boys only wanted “my things” (whatever that means) and of course teacher Annet, the senior woman would growl in one of those secret girl meetings “Say no and mean it! A” bigii’ NO,okay?”
It wasn’t long before I was a subject to that advice. On 14thjuly in Form 2, a cake appeared on my desk amidst murmurs and cheers from the boys. Leaning in, I read words that said “ I love you dear. Happy Birthday”
I felt the world reel as I turned my head very slowly and-there, at the corner of the classroom he stood. It was Joseph!!! – the little beautiful boy in class.(Do parents still name their kids Joseph in this day??)
He sent a kiss…a flying kiss! Oh God! I just knew he wanted “my things!” and he was letting the whole class know it! I felt myself swooning.
A rapid snap of fingers next to me warned me to hold on my stupid girlie faint (no offense but my bestie, Monica, can be very impulsive) Her eyes rolled between the two of us in a storm of furry. I shuddered, not comprehending.
“So you want to do bad things, huh?” Monica demanded of Joseph as all the girls, most probably from primary schools that had pounded them with “ say a bigii NO” philosophy, ganged up on Joseph.
Forced to carry his cake, Joseph’s eyes were a mirror of hurtful confusion as we made our walk of shame to the staffroom. Tears of helpless mirth sprang to his eyes and looking at his shaking khaki shorts, my heart ran out to him. I opened my mouth to talk to the girls but all in vain. Crowds don’t think.
Joseph was expelled on charges of spoiling others leaving me behind with guilt and a number of haters.
Walking through a lecturer room, yesterday, I saw a guy at the window. His dark head was tilted backwards and his hands were resting casually on his chest. His shadow was bestowed on the ground but even with his frame turned away, he seemed undoubtedly handsome.
Preparing to unleash my charm, i thrust my bosom up and froze, chest in midair when he turned. It was Joseph…No, that didn’t suit him anymore. Joe…that suited better.( Now why had I thought the name was uncool before?)
I watched Joseph…sorry Joe’s face change from blank, to recognition, surprise, and then remembrance. His evenly arranged teeth clenched showing me his convulsion and rejection. I shuddered, mentally recoiling from the blinding rage in his eyes. Suppressing the urge to turn around and scatter, I walked to him on legs wobbly like jelly and very civilly said “ Hi’
“Hi”, He answered in a low clenched voice. I stayed glued to the spot. Heavy silence hung over the room only punctuated by my occasional nervous swallow of saliva.
I knew I had made a mistake in coming. I even didn’t know what my stupid mind had been thinking! My misery turned into annoyance on seeing the arrogant guy before me watch my discomfort with an amused smile. Ohh! And was that laughter glinting in his eyes???
What the hell did he think I was? An amusement park? Had he looked at my leather leggings and found them funny? Had he even looked at me? I mean, looked at my flawless ass and only found it amusing? Hadn’t his momma ever told him that staring…MOCK STARING is rude? And what did people watching think? That he was my disinterested brother? (Hell no! I wasn’t losing my grip)…But was anyone even watching?
I didn’t care. All I wanted was to rub that smug off his face. I moved into him, eyes locked on his until I felt my boobs barely scrapple his chest. (the stupid smile was already gone)Without giving him time to think, my mouth came crushing on his, stunning him to immobility. The pleasure I felt is indescribable.
Still holding his gaze, I pulled back, thrust my bosom up and shook my ass exaggeratingly as I left, well knowing I had braded myself all over him. He still tasted me on his lips, his chest still tingled where my boobs had touched and his eyes saw nothing else but my dangling ass.
As I said, a girl does what they have to, to survive.
