Well that day that never appears on any properly marked calendar, where people in love, and those who think they are in love tend to scout for the sweetest words and gifts to flirt with their loved ones is back.
You call it valentine’s day and the singles call it another day where hunting for the pot of gold is more difficult.
So I gang up with the usual lads for what we can a boys night out on the Eve of valentine’s day, and mind you boy’s nights out end with a skilled search for babes after the liquor and whatever we use brings back “sense” to our heads. Its on this rather long journey to Mukono for the ultimate night out that these singles expressed their rather deep concerns about Valentine’s day.
The most down to earth guy (read as very short) I know tells us how some babe visited him and locally asked where her Valentine’s was. He told us how he bashed her by asking if Valentine’s was food or something and besides, what gave her the moral impetus to demand for valentine’s before opening her legs which was the ultimate valentine.
I interupt the stimulated laughter telling them that if we all bought just one bottle of Bond 7 which by the way is cheaper than date. We would be so f**ked that we would wake up on Sunday and wish the babes who think we love them a happy Valentine’s day. “Liquor is the ultimate love not bloody looking teddy bears and red shirts. We will drink the night away and not notice it. ”
This kaboozi got so hitted up that the conductor said our talk about Jeff’s ‘flowers’ made him high which made him tell us that buying airated goods on the streets of banda was cheaper than housing his taxi park love.”Gwe genda mu campus” a typical law student interrupted saying that Valentine’s Day is the only day he lets his whores go out with those their loved ones but he knows he will have as about two black holes on Monday. He then pauses a question to the couples “So what’s the fuss of wearing red, does it make cunt sweeter?”
One of the usual suspects calls me asking for a gift on Valentine’s day, so I pretend to be sweet and ask the rowdy travel mates for what sweet present to give. My close mate shouts, “A sex toy, condoms and transport to his place” I sweetly reply “So should I send you those presents?” and somehow she hungs up and sip I my coloured liquid.
Going to WhatsApp the female singles were on a last minute hunt for an excuse to show their Exes, how they have a nice love life on Valentine’s Day.
Some were actually looking for stuff to keep them occupied indoors considering that almost all happening joints will be playing lovey dovey music which doesn’t favour the traditional whinning and kotching.
In the middle of rowdy conversation, I remember on hooligan stating that when you are single there are about three options; One, you have who gives you or Two, you use your hand or Three, you buy. So counsel you say you are single what do you do.
“Am a virgin” he sarcastically says. Then my down to earth friend says of course he buys, sibya kwekweka.
Somehow a unanimous decision to follow the 3 rules this valentine’s day.
But finding something else to keep us occupied on the day would be rather good idea.
Of course MUK students have only one solution to idolatry, boredom, sadness which is usually sealed in a bottle of something. A bunch of bottles were opened and the rest is pretty hazzy which means am pretty sure I will wake up on Sunday with a happy wallet.
