KS Brian
1- THE INTROVERT
Like the dictionary meaning, these ones rarely talk. I would have used the term dumb but I know they finally say something if the food delays. In majority of their stay at parties, they just look on and hum or sit tight and give degrading comments to the girl dancing dirty with that cute guy everyone craves. The introvert actually speaks the most after the party. In their after party stories, they actually pretend they did everything…yes even the dirty dancing.
2-THE LADY MAGNET;
Well, these ones needn’t any introduction. See, a lady magnet is so strong, that even your date, wife, sister or even the hooker you took to the party will keep showering him with those “awww’ comments.The lady magnet knows this and he flaunts it around like he is the guy who knows the date of Jesus’ second coming. Normally, he is the cutest guy around or the richest one. Rumours also have it, he is the greatest in bed. Whatever that means. It could mean he sleeps till dawn. All tribes of women collect around him like he somehow has the miraculous cure for HIV.
3-THE BOOZE KING
He drinks like he just found out drinking kills cancer cells. We always have that kind of guy. He drinks like he is a descendant of one of the original guests at the wedding in Cana. He wins all drinking bouts like beer pong and normally wakes up the next morning in places he has no idea about. Normally, he is just draged home will the help of those guys who lost the same drinking bouts to him.
4-THE NOISY CLOWN
He has almost all the jokes in Kevin Hart’s dictionary. He rarely keeps quiet. The only time he does is when a good Samaritan kisses him. He cracks jokes form football, rugby, Bebe Cool and hell! even the other guy who escaped with Micheal Scofield from Sona. He is just a basket of everything. He could irritate you enough to make you run mad. He can make your girlfriend laugh but he could still bring out the Bruce Lee ghost in you, if that irritation gets to you.
5-THE ONE WHO LIKES THAT SONG
Jeez! this babe likes all those songs playing at the party. With a bottle of whisky, the height of Golola’s biceps, she sits in a corner and likes every song. ‘awww I like that song. It reminds me of the day I lost my virginity….”[okay, that is over exaggerated]. She is another version of the introvert whose only weakness is liking every song.
6- THE BITCH
According to your primary school dictionary, a bitch is a female dog. But like many other things, Campus has opened your eyes. 69 is no longer the answer to 70-1, it is rather a sex position. So bitch means that babe who has slept with literally almost everyone in her country besides Olara Otunu and maybe me. She is always at the party looking for the next victim to add to her list. When she spots you, you had better buy that protection real quick, because the only way you will survive her sticky net is if you fake epilepsy..
