KS BRIAN
Almost everyone who has been at campus has been visited by the devil or any of his devil-damned agents. Lucifer no longer comes with red horns, spitting fire with a plastic identity card labelling him sworn illuminati, but comes in your roommates’ image. The devil comes in all shapes and sizes and that tricky bastard of all people came in form of that fake roommate who I will try and scope for you; Read on to find out the roommate that you either endured or survived.
THE ONE WHO OWNS NOTHING
This guy is probably the world’s biggest show off. The girls always know him as one with swagger, and all you know him of is actually his talent in dressing top to toe in friends’ clothes. That is his superpower, and all his girls got he swagger complement for him all wrong. Dude has borrowed all the clothes on you hangers, the ones you are putting on and even the ones he thinks you will buy in the future. “Brother, when you finally buy those tattered jeans, please lend them to me, there is this party…..”He will say. He owns only two things in life, life itself and his red scarf he permanently borrowed from his former roommate.
THE MEAN ONE
He yawns like a crocodile when you are around but exit for jut three second, you will find mouthfuls of rice and bones of chicken littered everywhere. To be honest, he doesn’t love sharing so much. The only time he is more likely to share with you is if, you need some carbon dioxide, which he actually exhales for free sometimes under the blanket when he is downing his fish. However he was a needy guy too, but despite finding out that he was nothing but an island, he still didn’t give up his under the bed antics.
THE UNHYGIENIC ONE
He last has a shower when his mother from Rukungiri paid him a visit. The one she announced in the advance of 5 months. He barely touches water you would in his recent life, he was sodium. Dude has clothes of his high school vacation still in the laundry basket. The only time he makes and effort to clean up is if the Pope’s coming to Uganda which is once in a decade. He has a good stock of perfumes and always makes an effort to buy new clothes. He always brags about his disease and seems to pile all this burden to his future wife.
THE CASSANOVA
He brings in a new girl every three hours. His phone is always filled with beeps of girls who actually went his services. Bedroom services I mean. You have keep on the bench outside as he gulps down one by one. If you are the stubborn one, the moans from his wing will keep you awake all night through. He seems not have any feelings, yet he stresses he has a special girl. This special girl in question is the one he cheats on with over 30 girls. That must be one hell of special. I think he is the kind that skips Winnie Nwangi’s song Katono Katono every single time on the playlist.
THE NEAT FREAK
Your bed looks like something out Florida after a hurricane and his looks like it is a showcase bed at Hwan Sung furniture showroom. He looks like he lectures bed laying at some top university. His clothes are well ironed and pressed and in an order so good you would think he uses a mathematical set. When your plate gets washed at the next meal, his plate is washed seconds after he is done eating. He is always showering. Even when he needs to watch TV or sleep. This one is actually more annoying then the other, because he actually makes you feel bad about yourself, and is more capable of stealing your girlfriend.
