Forget these all socialite wannabes, this is how you can be a certified Campus socialite.
The first step is, simply choosing the right course, a stress free academic program, including and limited to, SWASA, Arts in arts, poultry management, Bachelor of Being Around Around (BBA), Human Resource management, catering, Tourism …and the like. These give you perfect cover to be a socialite in the name of studying… Travel and tourism, justifies your unending trips to top hot spots in the city, just like Catering to being around bars, you can always tell your parents…. Tukola intern even in the middle of the semester… Nanti catering.
Girls, lose weight. If you have the body size of a baby hippo, my friend, you are lost. You need to have the svelte size of Judith Heard …otherwise, try your luck with Riham Cola adverts.
Retakes
Have myriads of retakes. It’s actually not cool to be a socialite and not have retakes, it amounts to the abominable. Socialites are cool, they don’t read, when they do it’s for 30 mins towards papers… And of course, socialites don’t have time for class… Not at all. They’re always planning the next drink up, where to party at over the weekend and how to get a hold of the latest Samsung Galaxy s5.
Ride
Have something that looks like a ride. Even toy cars will work for you. Appear oncampus in UDX…even in its state of quagmire, fellow students will consider you asocialite. Even if it means to push it half way across the road, just appearing in a ride makes you a star. Ohh and most campus socialites own a Vitz. Good thing you won’t have to spend money at the washing bay, you can wash it in your sink.
Always make an appearance on the baddest hangouts in town. Be a regular member ofPana or the Hive. Make sure you’re known by the bouncers and even the waitresses.
Wardrobe
Being a campus socialite isn’t everyone’s posho! It’s not for every Tom, Dick (oops that sounds vulgar). Let’s go with Tom, David and Gloria! It carries a price, you have to own dresses supposed to be worn by your little sister… Short, tight is sexy! You definitely have to own various colors to match the occasion, including black for socialite funerals, oh Yes socialites don’t live long, just like most good things! If you have no idea what Louis Vuitton, or Prada is, give up… Socialite do labels, and not fakes like the Kyambogo version of D&D, instead of D&G.
Socialites are keen viewers of E! Now, socialite is class… See VIP and wanainchi don’t mix, it’s obnoxious to imagine Lord Fred Ssebatta at an All White Party! This means, “no monkey befriends swans, the ugly ducklings are not welcome to the party! Ugliness is relative, and includes financial ugliness. A broke campus socialite is a dreamingsocialite, poverty and a socialite life are enemies. You ought to be having 100k as your pocket change. This categorically kicks out brokenness. A campus socialite, should own an iPad, iPhone, latest galaxy and an apple laptop.
A socialite speaks English like a grandchild of the queen of England in addition to some Francais and Espanol to scare the unsuspecting ordinary folks.
Important don’ts
- Socialites shall not put up in Halls or hostels be it Olympia, it’s strictly apartments.
- Socialites shan’t drink Riham or any drinks on promotion. The level is Hennessy, Ciroc… Not Smirnoff!
- Socialites shall not watch pirated movies, it’s strictly 3D at the latest posh cinemas in town.
- Campus socialites shall definitely not go to church, Sunday is for nursing Hangover nothing else, socialites don’t pray, unless otherwise.
- A campus socialite shall make history. Go for a Uganda cranes match in Namboole. Even if you can’t pay for the ticket. Bump on your jersey and take several selfie stadium parking lot with crazy cranes fans. Nanti kolaring ebyafayo.
