By Nuwagira Steven
If she strokes you on the back, tickles you and says you’re different – implying you are not like the other boys, take heart brother. You are in the zone.
Right now, stop perusing through memory lane for the girls that have actually done that to you and for a minute ponder about why you are actually there in the first place. There are several reasons a boy will end up in the friend zone.
Mine started small. The first day of the semester worked wonders for me and I found myself seated next to her. She is tall, light beauty and best of all I noticed that she doesn’t have a sign of a pimple on her face.
That was my first turn on, considering that I am one of those few humans lucky enough to be on that perilous path of forgetting our original skin color because of the never dying pimples that are so nasty that whenever they are leaving, they make it a point to leave a sign reading, “I was here.”
I didnt say a word to her. I just sat there motionless like an avid Soccer Fan waiting for his team to equalise. I found out later on ( after 3 days ) that her name is Becky.
Now, Becky didnt really zone me. The right sentence to say is I zoned myself. See, I rarely talk to her and once I do, it is usually the boring jazz about books and studies. She has mastered the art of changing topics whenever I mention something suggestive. The other day in the heat of our usually boring conversation about books, I decided to chip in something spicy that was meant to turn the conversation naughty. ( Keep in mind it was 11:42 pm )
“You see exams are drawing really close and we need to intensify our reading.”
I gathered the courage and said,
“How about now? At my place.”
I accompanied that message with a wink emoji. She read the message and slept. I woke up the next morning to a goodmorning message from her and there was no way on earth I was going to bring up the previous night’s misery.
It is not long since then that I discovered that she genuinely wants to just be friends. This sounds odd especially to my distinguished clan of hitmen reading this.
One of my friends, a celebrated hitman intimated to me one of his encounters with a girl. He had for about a month been wooing her and for some strange reason she kept acting blonde. He therefore at one moment asked her a question;
“Am I your sister, aunt or mother?”
When she answered in the negative, he dropped the bomber,
“So what do you think I want from you?”
If you’re out there peeping at this article from a brozone somewhere, my advice to you is DONT TRY THIS AT HOME.
The rise to glory is harder than the fall from Grace.
It is hard for a boy to accept that a girl can actually want them for just friendship. Boys, especially at Campus, befriend girls with evil hidden motives of getting to their pants. So I appreciate that this is a sour pill for them to swallow but learning a new thing a day isnt a bad idea.
So today, get to face it that you can actually be zoned because to put it plainly, that is where you belong.
And once you’re there, your hands will never get near that cookie jar unless you want to lose them.
