Comedy As Nkumba Students Report With Street Vendors For Parents

Saasi Marvin

Nkumba University students reported back to campus yesterday after a one-month hiatus from studies following their suspension from the Campus.

However, this was not any other ordinary reporting by students, as this time round, students were seen tail-between-their-legs, with that “I wish-the-ground-could-swallow-me-look” as they walked with their parents to the administrative offices to be cleared for re-admission.

They had earlier vowed to ignore, defy and treat with contempt the University’s directive to report with parents and had instead promised to return to Campus in a triumphant and daring show of student power.

One fact which beat this reporter’s understanding was that most of the students looked three times older than the “parents” with whom they had come, raising questions as to whether these were not mercenary parents, especially seeing that on that same day, boda boda riders from the nearby stages, casual laborers as well as food vendors were conspicuously and markedly absent from their usual work-stations.

Not to be outdone, other students were seen carrying mineral water bottles containing super deep juice and left-over food from the previous night’s supper which left onlookers muttering and cursing under their breath that woe unto Nkumba University for having run a nursery school section for adults and grand jjajjas all this time without their knowledge.

A Nkumba University student, who spoke on condition of anonymity, swore that this should not be surprising, as some students are in the final stages of presenting a petition to the university chancellor, requesting for the installation of swings and bouncing castles for the students’ enjoyment during their free-time.

Nkumba University Secretary Threatens

A one Goretti, the University secretary, maintains that each day student must report with a fully paid-in bank slip covering the 200k fine or else no student should risk bringing their nuts anywhere within the vicinity of Nkumba University. Also, she adds that students must report with their parents as well as a passport-size photo.

Well, dear students of Nkumba, you have been warned. “Fore-warned is fore-armed.” You’ve been warned.