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Sneaking out to night clubs, sleep overs, one hour visits, hidden relationships are all in the ancient. University girls have now elevated from secret affairs to real marriages or call it serious cohabiting over the weekend. It is not an offence among the minority, save for those who are meant to lag behind, and always do as expected. The monotony of growing up as a youth is being in a relationship and for university girls to prove that they are dating; they must at least spend nights at their spouses’. This is really trending and it seems an obligation for whoever moves with tendency.
“It is really weird to stay alone at the hostel over the weekend, because honestly even the singles try to visit their friends but what about you in a relationship?” says Caroline Nazi (not real name), a second year student at Makerere University.
She adds she is upbeat every Thursday evening so anxious because she knows what the next three days of the weekend have to offer. On Friday morning, she carefully packs her personal effects and boards the bus to Jinja. By noon, she is settled in a flat in town, preparing lunch for a man she calls her ‘husband.’
At just 23, Caroline is not only a student counting semesters to leave school: she is somebody’s wife who has an obligation of doing his laundry, cooking and all sorts of housework. Her marital duties end on Sunday evening, when she travels back to campus. At the end of her three day’s sojourn, she has sh500,000 to spend as offered by the so called husband.
Stella Nalwadda (not real name), a student at Kampala International University says she travels to Kisumu to meet her boyfriend on weekends. She has since limited her trips because of insecurity across the border.
“I could not stand staying alone in the room when all my roommates were out on weekends,” Nalwadda, a second year student says. As a fresher, she narrates how she was often left alone in her hostel room whenever her roommate went out over the weekend.
After weeks of contemplation, Nalwadda says she met a Kenyan man who suggested that she visits him on weekends when he was not on duty. Friday evenings find her at her spouse’s apartment in the quiet town of Kisumu, where she is treated to a weekend of Ugali, chicken and sukuma.
Far away from campus life, Nalwadda says cohabiting allows her the opportunity to know and solidify her relationship. Besides building her relationship, Nalwadda says the few days she is away from campus mean that she will have a story to tell when she returns to her small hostel room.
Cozy lifestyle
While at the man’s place the campus girl does all the chores of a housewife, including laundry, preparing meals and keeping the home. On Saturday afternoon they hang out or visit the guy’s friends that is if he is fine with introducing you to them, a few loaded ones even take the initiative to take them for movies in fancy cinema halls.
Sunday is the day when all believers go to church, however if the couple is still young, they do not remember to go to church, but spend the entire day in bed. Later in the evening if the girl is lucky, her boyfriend drops her back to her hostel after doing a little shopping.
Most of the men in this kind of relationships with campus girls are unmarried middle working class type, although some of them are older men with families, they also choose to spend weekends in rented apartments with these young girls who ought to have new stuff to offer.
For older men, weekends with campus girls are mostly spent in HOTEL ROOMS
. The young men of the corporate type live in enclosed apartments and have more room to hang out in recreational sites. The married men will often lie to their wives that they are on upcountry working trips.
Risky venture
“It is partly for this reason that there are many young mothers. The idea of weekend marriages forces young people into sexual relations, without thinking about their future and education,” he says.Dr. Francis Lukwago of Mirembe Clinic Kampala blames such practice on peer pressure, which he says is responsible for rising cases of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs).
Most of the campus girls are often not aware that their weekend ‘husbands’ have multiple partners. Nalwadda says she cannot rule out that her partner might have another woman. She says her frequent trips are meant ensure that her weekend husband does not find someone else.
Stellah Nsiimenta (not real name), a student at Makerere University Business School (MUBS) student and now a mother says that her daughter is as a result of cohabiting over the weekend.
“My boyfriend was a marketer of a car bond in Nakawa. He had an apartment and he was rich. He used to spend lavishly in bars around Ntinda, Banda and Nakawa.
Since he was a busy man, to meet him, I would have to sleep over at his home during weekends. Soon, I discovered I was pregnant and I moved from my hostel to his apartment in Ntinda,” adds Nsiimenta who has since returned to school.
She claims she is lucky he caters for her tuition and their baby’s needs, but adds that not every campus girl is guaranteed that such a relationship will hold.
Stanley Opio, a third year student at Makerere University reveals he is in a comparable relationship with a fellow student.
“I often invite her to my home because to help me do some laundry and cook for me. It is a status symbol and I brag to my friends about it. I got used to living with her and I find it hard to survive the weekend without her”, he says.
Although he was initially scared that she might someday be found living with him without her parents’ consent, Opio says he later got used to it and even gave her a copy of his room’s keys.
Parents stirred
Even among adults, cohabiting is reviled by most cultures and religion. University students have added a dimension to it by living single lives but fulfilling wifely duties over the weekends. However, the whole idea of spending weekends in a man’s house has drawn fire from parents and moralists.
Amos Wekesa, a wildlife entrepreneur and a parent says he can’t stand having his daughter cohabiting yet she is a student. “It is disrespectful if your daughter sleeps with men at such a tender age. I would not take it,” Wekesa said.
Sheikh Musa Kalyango, a resident Kawempe Mbogo says: “I would just make sure I marry her off to a responsible man if I discovered that she was messing up:”
Joseph Magezi, a boda boda cyclist in Makerere Kikoni says that it is common for the campus girls to leave their hostels over the weekends pretending to be travelling home.
“I have carried many girls on my motorcycle on weekends and in some cases, they claim to be travelling home. But how can you wear a very short dress and claim you are going to visit your parents?” Magezi wonders.
