Uncle Shahali, I received the news Pa, you appeared on tv, it was no ordinary tv but a plasma, hung upon a wall, haters will say it was just your reflection on the tv screen, that you were physically outside. Shaa, don’t mind them, they haven’t heard of ‘technolgia’ called HD and 3D, clearly your presence on Live TV was in 3D.
We residents of Bulambuli are indeed proud. You were live On TV; you are a star; next you’ll be on a billboard; okay that might need a bigger chair and table but still you’re our Hollywood star. But uncle Shahali, baby face, you indeed are the holder of the highest seat in IUIU, but with all due respect I fear you need to carry a few ladders with you to access high placed seats, we might not approve of you appearing in HiGH Definition on a chair placed upon a table for future live TV shows. But that isn’t my concern, my concern is that we Lilliputians have been branded names; we’ve been called unfairly residents of Ituri forest for our height, we’ve been reduced to those forest folk, they might be our cousins but they aren’t us, we aren’t them.
Last week, my friend was accused of being as brief as a mini skirt, he was asked to stand up yet he was already standing. My sister in height was recently called a minister in charge of grassroots!
Uncle Shahali sir, we feel this short man syndrome must end; shortness isn’t an illness! Why must your bed be as long as your suit case? It goes without saying that a short man isn’t a child! We might not be tall enough but this unfairness of going to club and having to rub our hard ons against female knees utmost is unfair. At least; no pick pocket can reach our pockets without having to lay on the floor.
You might afford to employ taller folks to carry you up and enable you address people but some of us only dream of such privileges.
We are troubled and you are our savior! Now that we have a voice; we need you lobby for:
1. A parliamentary seat, representative for the height disadvantaged.
2. We need to have stools in public places; it’s quite difficult to plant pecks or slap idiotic tall people, we need those in IUIU.
3. We want a weekly live show; so we might showcase our other abilities. Like swimming in bath tubs
4. We want you to demand that door locks at IUIU are lowered from the middle to the bottom. I don’t want to imagine the trouble you go through opening your office door. Place the lock at the bottom.
6. Uncle Shahali, my other concern is with the size of the chairs, why can’t you have a mat instead of chairs which keep your legs hanging in the air.
7. We have coke Kamini could you also ask Nile Special to do us a favour and produce Special Kamini.
8. We need an association too; STS; save the short! Please Uncle get back to us.
Yours in admiration
Kafuupi Baby Kamini
Vice President of Height Tormentors Army
You must be logged in to post a comment.