My name is Joan and I am a student from Uganda Martyrs University, Nkozi. I have been dating this guy for close to three years now and well thanks to a long distance relationship, I don’t see him as often as you all see your boyfriends. Last week, I decided to spend a week at his place and he is still as jealous and clingy as before. I thought the long distance relationship would calm him down but it didn’t. He doesn’t want to see me with his or my male friends let alone text them in his house. He is jealous, insecure, and clingy. I still love my man but this trait he possesses might kill this relationship, what should I do?
Hey Joan, this is a tough one considering there is no medical or straight remedy to cure this and that it is a normal human condition. This is his character and I can’t lie to you that people easily change because they rarely do and most times they fake it.
I believe your boyfriend loves you so much but you too have a life and these friends, are the people you will fall back to in case this your relationship doesn’t make it to the next level. So it’s not right not to talk and be there for your friends, male or female.
Overall, being in a relationship with a jealous partner shouldn’t necessarily be a deal breaker. Some people have trust issues due to past relationships or breakups, and it’s often possible to work through these problems together if both partners are committed to trying. To start, it’s best to figure out why your partner is feeling jealous in the first place, especially if you haven’t given them a reason to mistrust you.
However, these few hacks could get you through your situation;
- Talk about your partners fears and anxieties
- Don’t get defensive about your own behaviour
- Show extra affection
- Create boundaries
- Be available and responsive
- Be patient
