KS BRIAN
DISCLAIMER: First off all, I want to be clear that I wasn’t part of the Tubonga Naawe fiasco and I have never received any envelope of any kind or been part of the ongoing sack money reception team. So, I am clean and these views and observations are from a sane and objective mind.
Disorganised Opposition
Seriously, in every country that holds serious elections [I didn’t mention Rwanda], there has to be two major bulls and another paltry congress of wannabes. USA had Romney and McCain against Obama, then a John Kerry against Bush. In Nigeria, there was Goodluck and General Buhari. In Kenya, the bulls were Raila Odinga and Uhuru Kenyatta. In Uganda however, we have one bull and a horde of wannabes. Had it not been for time’s sake, we would have around 200 wannabes for presidency. Thank God it takes 20 million Uganda shillings to pick election forms, otherwise the number would need 3 MBs to type. In brief, we have no major challenger to the big guy. And let’s look at the people challenging the big boy. One is a defector who has had a hand in almost every major corruption scandals in the country, another has acute levels of failure. He could even fail to withdraw. Then there is a party that has about three factions. The one who never gets married, the one who thinks he can fit his daddy’s timberland boots on his cat paws and the miserable guy who claims to have been mayor. Tell me, when a sane person is looking for a person to drive the country, who of those comedians has a better shot. You can never vote a political party which has more than three factions. That means that if you can’t do a certificate, working for a Masters might be like fetching water in a basket. Leading a country is not like chewing groundnuts but rocks, so unless they set their house together and hire a bull, naah, they are losing so bad this time.
Campaign Skills
The big man knows that money runs campaigns. There is no country in the world where votes come free. You don’t just log into Facebook and make a long-ass post, and then the likes turn into votes. No. You have to pay people. No one is going to feed their families on promises of when you get into office, which they too deep down know, might never happen unless hell freezes over. Obama needed endorsements from various faceless rich men and corporations to fund his campaigns and support his cause [which happened]. When people see money, you haven’t bought them but as adults they have accepted your cause because you seem to understand what life is. Life is Money. Spend a weekend without it and you will understand. So, like it or not, money is not as evil as the opposition makes us believe. There is nothing you get out of just spitting saliva onto your voters. Buy them a drink. Make them believe your story over a drink. That is why we buy girls beers and chicken. They don’t cost chicken, but preaching to a hungry girl is suicide. What most opposition politicians do is spit venom and curse the government instead of actually trying their level best to convince voters of their cause. We want to know how you will implement things, not who you want candidate X to go. You don’t vibe a girl by ordering her to leave her guy. Buy her ice cream, tell her what difference you are making, and then give her some good sex. That’s how you win an election. Senseless ranting and cat fights make voters crave pop-corn to watch you neigh-neigh.
Social Media Furry Doesn’t Vote
Most of the violence and vicious comments you see on Facebook are by nerds who won’t even step at the polling stations. The typical downtown youth who sells shoes is the one guy who will, and his anger is not in the government. All he knows he is working hard. Also, we should not forget the usual silly issues of election boycott. When you beat someone, he develops a feeling of boycott. Oldest and stupidest trick in the book. When we fought as kids, when your mate was getting tougher, you would all of a sudden hope some misfortune happened so that the fight ends without you losing a few incisors. That is the opposition. When the going gets tough, they don’t wait, they run away. They sure can’t face it because they spent most of their campaigns suffocating their voters with stale rhetoric.
But the government doesn’t allow us to express ourselves. They normally say. Go to Rwanda and see what happens to people who yup like Frank Gashumba. Death. Assassinations. Here, we call our leader a pig and he looks on. I listen to radios all evening just to wait for an opposition leader to make sense, all in vain. They always end up talking about an individual- Museveni and not issues. This deeply means, they misuse even the little time they have to express themselves to voters.
They would have ground liberty too, but mehn, the last time they gave them this kind of liberty, they made traffic stand still, goons looted property and lives were lost. Then they forced the public into blaming the police. Today, when the police move around like headless chicken.
Go and vote him out of power, if you can. If you can’t, give it five more years.
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