Match Day Live, my favorite WhatsApp group admitted a girl. Not that we have been gay but because the fairer sex disassociate themselves with anything to do with matches (unless they are ‘bedminton’ matches of course.)
It is not funny that we brought in a girl. It is funny that now the boys are holding back because of the girl. All those nasty jokes that we used to crack have decelerated at a faster rate than Kitende students getting admitted to Makerere Law.
For instance, every member of MDL (as it is affectionately called) used to maintain that given a chance to choose between a warm big booty and a remote on a very cold Champions League Night, they would with no hesitation pick the remote. Right now, only me still maintains that. The other 29 or so boys are busy in the new entrant’s inbox professing their long history of love for Manchester City just because she turned out to be a City fan.
Ironically, prior to her arrival, I was the only City fan in the group. Right now, if I were to form a City Fans’ Club, I would collect 200K + from MDL.
This leads me to our topic of discussion today. Boys, Booty and Balls.
It is a world wide known phenomenon that in every 90% of men that come back home late on Saturday Nights, 89% are soccer fans that could not handle the dilemma of having to choose between concentrating on soccer and watching their women tease them to bed. They therefore choose to watch the games so far away from home. The other 1% is for the rabble that don’t find any love for soccer – yet they are boys. We call them rabble in MDL because these days it is politically incorrect to call someone gay.
But behind every avid soccer fan, there is always a cursing woman regretting why the game was even invented. A story tells of a guy and girl that were making out on a chilly rainy Saturday night in Kare Hostel and when it clocked 7:30p.m, the guy stopped instantly.
“What is wrong?” asked the confused girl.
She had thought that maybe she had a bad breath or had let out a bad gas that turned the guy off only to be told that Leicester is playing Everton and there is a trophy receiving ceremony he cant miss.
“What is Leicester?” she had gone on to ask.
The boy didn’t answer that question because it is expected in such a time when the usual suspects Chelsea and City are off and the unusual suspects, United and Arsenal are not on either.
It is therefore because of such incidents and more that all along we had been willing to eat elephant poop instead of believing that a girl would want to associate themselves with soccer jazz. But when this extraterrestrial woman requested (out of the blue) to join MDL, we all knew the common adage that’s been going on is right – the world is coming to an end.
What do you expect when UCU organise a strike, US Envoys walk out on a Leopard, Makerere removes the 60% tuition policy and a girl joins MDL?
