When you have been openly hitting on that nice girl for weeks and she finally comports to come and see you, it is only natural that you get goose bumps – if you’re lucky enough to survive an erection.
The woman (lately, woman sounds cooler to me than girl) I have been hitting on ever since the semester began agreed to come over to my place and yours truly is strong and less perverted enough to get the bulge in his pants. S when she called, all I said was,
“Oh, alright then.” “I will be waiting for you.”
Keep in mind it is the first time she is coming. So my beloved roommate if you are reading this, keep calm. You will not climb.
Now, me and my roommate are sundry. We are different. For every gain I make, he makes another. When I take a selfie with someone cool (say the Guild President), he goes to Nichodemus for the equalizer.
When God made me, he didn’t forget to add cute, as for my roommate, God made him fast – and that is how he catches up with me.
This guy is so fast that, the other day a girl had come to see him and when I saw the two shamelessly getting cosy in front of me, like any understanding guy he expected me to excuse myself. But I wasn’t moved. I was determined in my defiance because it was 9pm and I had nowhere else to go.
However midway, hunger struck but even then I was specific in my words. I said;
“Let me go buy something to eat.”
See, it is not my problem that I don’t speak in parables (even when people that speak in parables are presumed to be witty.) It is my roommate’s problem to think that I speak in parables because he interpreted my words to mean a through pass for him to do the needful. So I came back a few minutes later and found this guy dry humping someone’s daughter in broad electricity light.
When I opened the door, two ideas came to my head
The first was that I go over to him and tell him to remove “it” (much as I knew it wasn’t actually there) but I later opted for the second thought and pretended I had not seen what was going on and went to my neighbors’ with a story titled “COITUS INTERRUPTUS.” meaning the interruption of sexual intercourse.
Later on, he called me back to our room after the girl had gone. My roommate was unwilling to talk about what had just happened – but by the way I looked at him, he knew I needed an explanation. He was at that moment ultimately between a rock and a hard place.
He wore a face of insecurity. The kind of insecurity a butt-less woman gets whenever she is going to pass by a pervert well knowing the punk will peep back at her behind.
When my roommate started with;
“I actually didn’t want to do it. You realize I was dressed and…”
I told him to shut up immediately and admit that he had misinterpreted me.
So dear roommate when my woman comes over, don’t panic. Stay around and enjoy our chat because I hold completely friendly plans. And besides, it will be the first time. I am not that fast, I am only cute.
You can worry yourself when it comes to the third time at least.
