Love is a very strong emotion. It can bring us close and yet at times it can push us further away. There is a very thin line between showing affection and suffocating him with the same. Unless you pay close attention to your relationship, you’ll realize there is a thin cloud that prevents a happy tale from becoming a tragic tale. You need to study your partner well. Know how to love them right without smothering them. Here is how to do that;
Praise and approval. Men are ego-driven creatures that like reassurance about themselves, their ambitions, their efforts as lovers, their sexual prowess, how they look et al. While it may be true that men need less verbal praise than their women, it is necessary to praise them. Ladies let your praise loose. Tell your man what you find attractive about him. Tell him how attractive it is when he says something a certain way or when he accomplishes something. Your praise won’t make him cocky, it will help him feel loved.
Physical touch. Men need non-sexual touches as frequent as ladies do. Hold his hand while you take a stroll on the streets. That registers to him as “I love you and I will always be here for you.” Come up from behind him and hold his waist, his neck while he seems absorbed in thoughts. Trust me this could make him feel just as loved or as if you just had penetrative sex. Depending on his mood. This doesn’t stifle him. It’s actually sexy.
Regulate the love. Can too much love ever be a bad thing? Yes. Why? Here’s why. When you fall in love with someone, it’s natural to want to shower them with love and affection. Truth be told, too much love should never be a bad thing but you can make your partner hate it when it becomes stifling. You should always keep in mind that it’s good to give this person time to miss you. Showing too much love and affection sometimes makes them dislike you or your affection. Well this is relative and subjective. What might be too much for one, it could be what the other is looking for. Study your partner well.
Give him space to grow. Well most of you only give yourselves space when things hit south. It should never be done that way. Spending time with each other can feel great but even if you are having the time of your life in his arms, learn to back away and give him space every now and then. Guys love space to breathe, think and grow. Don’t wait for him to ask for it. You need to see this yourself. Balancing togetherness and space is not easy, but it’s worth the effort. Remember absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Regulate the constant calls. Keeping in touch is awesome and acceptable but wanting an update of your man’s life every hour is just dumb and obsessive. Unless your man likes staying in touch constantly, avoid this behavior. Most girls do this when their man is out with his boys and in company of some hot kyaanas. If you do this, or keep sending him “I miss you” texts when is out and you are home alone, girlfriend you are bored! You want attention, this is another case of stifling and misusing love. Avoid it and you will enjoy your relationship peacefully.
Balance your romance. Do not be the street dog that asks so much of everything. The sex, love, friendship. If you want him to love you right, both of you need to feel involved in each other’s lives in more aspects than just love. Learn to be his friend and a confidante. Guys love care so much more than girls do. Be his ear and shoulder. By doing this, you will avoid feeling jealous of any female that gets close to him as a friend. Better your relationship with perfect balance of love, sex and friendship. With this he will love you till you die like he promised.
Trust him and avoid feeling insecure. Subtle insecurity can suffocate him out of the relationship. If you feel you have the best lover in the world and you over do it because you think he will think less of you or leave you for someone else, then maybe you are inviting it to happen. You cannot constantly prove your love for someone else all the freaking time. The more you go proving your love all the time, the more you will build yourself up for heart break.
Stop craving for attention. Can you sit beside your guy for thirty bloody minutes without seeking their attention? If you are the touchy, feely, giggly partner, you are one that looks for ways to distract your man. This maybe ok if you are still new in love but not ok at all if you have been together for quite a while. Every one wants attention but not the kind that is going to make him wish you had stayed in-doors. The more you crave for attention, the more he will shy away from giving it and the more this happens, you will start to smother him with affection and PDA in hope of reciprocation. This will continue until one of you opts out and you do not want that.
I’m no Dr. Love but I know guys, campus guys at that. These dudes only respond well to affection that isn’t invasive because they don’t want to be controlled.
