There is a theory that the average person will be in at least 7 relationships before finally finding the one (whatever that means). The same theory adds that, of the seven, that person will have been in love twice, and will have been heart broken twice, as well.

The rest, in between, is characterized by casual flings, rebounds and one-night-stands. Whether you believe in ‘the one’ or not, this article is for you. Because, let’s face it, campus is a time to explore and if you are reading this, you’ve probably been in more than two relationships already (and counting). So, even if nothing else, the theory does hold some water on the number seven. 

The campus phase is a time of development. Career development, ofcourse, but, perhaps even more importantly, psycho-social development (and this is where relationships come in). Everybody always thinks their first relationship will work out.

Some do, by the way (huraaayyy!!). But for purposes of generalization let’s just say that the chances of a first relationship actually working out are slim-to-none, which kind of makes sense. Because, it wouldn’t be development if we arrived on the first go, would it?

A wise man (I have no idea who) once said, you cannot be older and wiser if you were never young and foolish. Therefore, while the path is always different for everybody, the one thing that is universally agreeable is that we all most likely to get it wrong on the first try. So we figure it out one mistake at a time, one failed relationship at a time, until, finally, we get there (hence the number seven).

You are probably wondering where law of averages comes inin all of this. See, the law of averages states that the number of outcomes, where there is equal probability, should balance out over a short series of repetitions. For example, if a person tosses a coin five times and gets heads each time, that person starts to believe that the next toss is more likely to be a tail than another head.

While this theory is not mathematically accurate (the probability for a coin toss outcome remains a half regardless), there are some real life scenarios to which it applies. The reason for this is that, unlike a coin toss, the outcome in real life scenarios is affected by several other variables, such as will, motivation and lessons learned, literally anything that would cause a person to try and do things differently if ever confronted with a similar situation again. Relationships fall in that category. 

After one failed relationship too many, a person starts to attempt to figure out why and what they are doing wrong. For campus relationships it is usually pretty easy to figure out. More often than not, the issue is to do with commitment and/or lack of focus.

At first the adventure is thrilling, to say the least. There is a sense of satisfaction derived from dividing and conquering, charting unmarked territory. Next thing you know, you are on your fourth relationship. But like any growth stage, the clock is ticking, time starts to run out and it becomes increasingly important to focus, to settle down.

While once it was easier to, literally, run away from one’s problems by ending a relationship and starting another, the person begins to favor the option of staying and solving rather than up and running.

If you have arrived at this stage, you are probably nearing the number seven, all factors considered. At this point, you are too tired to keep at it for much longer, the thought of having to start over with someone new sickens you, so you try to salvage what you have, no matter how imperfect. This is why seven is a charm. There is a total shift in mindset by this point, something that will likely trigger a corresponding change in the outcome. A series of failed relationships, all the while growing and learning, and then boom, a breakthrough. 

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Naya Bala


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