Falling in love at campus can be next level exciting. Unlike high school, where you’re still living in a childhood realm with childhood barriers, campus gives you that first taste of adult freedom. You can set your own schedule, sleep over at someone’s hostel whenever you want, no worrying about your parents’ prying eyes, become a regular at Sky Lounge with bouncers even knowing your 3rd name, travelling to Jinja every other weekend with a different blesser. Literally, everything you could ever dream of, it sounds ideal, right? It can be, but it’s not perfect. Not by a long shot. Campus relationships present complications that you might not expect. But don’t worry, The Bee gat you;
Share the “sleepover” time
This ends up happening a lot in campus relationships, especially during the first year. I get it, you’re like madly in love with your partner and the fact that you can sleep next to them every night without worrying about a parent busting you is hard to pass up. But while the novelty might not wear off too quickly for you, it’ll get really old really fast for you or your bae’s roommate. We’ve heard horror story after horror story about people who were stuck with roommates who always had their partner over there to the point where they were basically a third roomie. Please, don’t be this person unless you want to be hated. Respect your roommate or your partner’s roommate’s space; they didn’t sign up to share a room with an extra person. You can’t let your romance let you get selfish. Set up an arrangement that all involved parties can agree to, but at the very least, alternate between rooms; maybe stay at your place one night and partner’s the next.
Assuming that dating a campuser means you’re dating a more mature person
This is especially the case with girls. You might be in for a nasty surprise if you’re assuming that all campus dudes are significantly more mature than their high school counterparts. The guy you’re seeing might seem great at first, but looks can be deceiving. Someone who is great on paper or might seem super smart could end up being emotionally stunted on the relationship front, and you don’t find out until it’s too late. I’m not saying you should avoid dating because you might run into some immature cretins. I’m saying that you have to vet everyone before getting so committed. Getting into a university doesn’t mean all that much on the maturity front.
Assuming you’re already ‘future hubby and future wifey’
There are so many dangers of assuming that a campus romance obviously leads to a bright, happy future together. You might envision your relationship surviving for years and years, even beyond graduation. Your partner, on the other hand, might be just looking for a ka chic to be a ‘sure’ all through his years at campus. Not everyone sees a relationship at campus as a path to marriage or some other kind of long-term commitment. If you’re hoping to make your relationship last and you two have been dating for a while, try to make sure you two are on the same page before you’re in too deep.
Thinking you found THE ONE
Listen, maybe you did find The One; but there’s a big chance you didn’t. I’m not saying that to bum you out, I’m saying that to encourage you to have fun and to not put all your eggs in one basket. Do not start setting up your life around this campo ka babe; you’ll be in for a nasty surprise when after grad your ‘boo’ sends you an invitation to her Kwanjula.
Setting up your schedule to match your partner’s
You and your campo BF/GF/whatever might be inseparable, but your paths should remain separate. It’s really easy to get so caught up in each other that you try to get into the same hostel, set up the same schedules, etc. But you both need your space and you both should pursue your own individual passions, not each other’s just so you can be close. Just because your boyfriend is going to major in Finance doesn’t mean you must too even when you know you aren’t good at it. Campus is a time of independence, of discovering your passions. It’s the time to do your own thing. Don’t let romance get in the way of that. You could end up sacrificing a lot of your interests or passions for someone you might not even be with, in a year. It’s the same reason why I think it’s really risky to follow your partner to the same university, even after being admitted to others that might be better; you’re risking your future on a gamble, and making gambles on love just aren’t smart.
Believing that your romantic prospects are slim if you don’t find a partner at campus
Way too many people romanticize the idea of finding ‘The One’ at campus. Listen, some people manage to do that. But let’s be real: Most don’t. I can only think of one or two couples I know who remain together after graduating. Most of them are history. Yep, even the ones that managed to last for a year or so after graduation ended. So if you’re in a campus relationship and it ends, don’t assume you missed out on your best opportunity to find a partner. Dating after graduation is so common and you could definitely find ‘The One’ outside of a campus environment. Don’t sweat it.
