Some campus relationships are like a meteorite. We all know those couples that every babe wants to be and every guy wants to break apart. To the passerby, they manifest as a flash of blinding light, appearing out of nowhere, stunning everybody in their wake and disappearing just as quickly as they came. So much so, that when they are gone you start to wonder whether, in fact, they were here, or whether you were just a victim of your own imagination. That is how short some situationships turn out.
But is that necessarily a bad thing? The word ‘short’ itself is too often associated with bad things. ‘Short’ is made to appear as if ‘insufficient’ in most grammatical contexts. That, ofcourse, and the fact that sometimes the word just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. For example, when a prospective client tells you ‘lemme call you shortly’ and they don’t.
On this particular subject though, short (in terms of duration) may not necessarily be such a bad thing. The thing about campus is that it is a time of youth, a time of exploration, so a lot of things are better kept short and sweet. This article is not meant to discuss whether or not ‘short’ is a good thing in this context, but rather why even couples that want a long term relationship often fail. So if you are team ‘let no man put asunder’, this one is for you.
Not on the same page?: In all honesty, the first reason campus relationships fail is because one (or both) of the parties does not want it to work. It goes without saying that sometimes people venture in relationships for all sorts of reasons; one of which is not longevity. The problem there is that rarely are the parties on the same page. So one of them is there thinking this is their last stop when, in fact, the other person does not want to be tied down just yet.
There is pressure to keep up: Assuming both people want the relationship to go the distance. There is that phase at the beginning when they are just not in sync yet. There is a tendency for one to want to go out of their way to please the other, which is great, for the most part. But how long do you think you can keep it up? What happens is that there starts to be a strain, and not just in the pocket. Your mood starts to take a dive and you become increasingly paranoid. That calls for an adjustment, the result of which can only go one of two ways; either the other party will understand, or let’s just say y’all may have to part as friends.
Going nowhere fast: Being in sync is one thing that a couple cannot do without. You have to be honest with each other (and yourself) about where you are and where you are going. But also, sometimes you only get to be a step ahead by being a few feet behind, especially when it comes to ambitions and aspirations. Has your woman ever told you a short term dream of theirs that scared the daylights out of you? Women, especially, have a certain desire to get so far in so little time (something they usually find a way of achieving), but that means that, often, they have to move on from their campus boyfriend to a more established (read: older) man.
Speaking of older men: This is not even about loyalty, but who doesn’t think about taking the easy way out every once in a while. Campus relationships come with a realization that, well, you are both at campus. Between choosing the hustle and opting for an easier route, one may later realize that they either dodged a bullet or lost the love of their life. But two years after campus when the babe is newly married to an older man and she drives by her ex (campus boyfriend), in that moment it may feel, distinctly, like she definitely dodged a bullet.
Simply immature: Am sorry I cannot find a less blunt way of putting this, but sometimes people are just immature. I have talked about the ones that be knowing they do not want to settle down just yet. That is funfair compared to this. There are those people who simply do not know what they want. They do not know whether they are ready to settle down or not, they do not know what they want in a man/woman, they do not even know how they got here in the first place. They just woke up and realized they are in this relationship and now they do not know how to progress. Beware of this lot, if nothing else. I say again. Beware!