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Stella Nyanzi

Makerere University Research (MISR) institute research fellow, Stella Nyanzi monday morning said that President Museveni, who has ruled Uganda since 1986 killed her parents.

This was in the wake of heavy criticism that clouded her Facebook timeline throughout the whole weekend after she likened the President to buttocks.

“I refuse to cuddle this venomous snake that killed my father and then killed my mother. I refuse to praise this rapist of our dear Constitution and desecrater of our Ugandan flag. I refuse to be silent. Instead, I fire the bullets of my colourful pen at his misrule,” an excerpt of Nyanzi’s Facebook post says.

A seemingly concerned folloer, Mukwaya Ibrahim commented:  “Alright, Girl?, Your way out of your depth! These goons don’t care and us who love to still see a sister cheering us up still need u healthy, vibrant and strong. Leave the matako alone and i promise you this is gonna change so soon. He’s not God and he’s not the only purple. Just give it a rest.” 

Prompting a reply from Nyanzi: “Way out of my depth? How? He killed my parents. I know he can kill me. What depths are deeper than death?”

Below is Nyanzi’s full status update:

In the final analysis, I am self-reliant. I abundantly feed, shelter, clothe, transport and defend myself and a legion of my dependants. I don’t need any stranger’s oscillating approval, swaying praise, or vain cheering to thrive.

Your wagging tongues nyonyonyoing heavy with criticism about me do nothing to me. Keep them to yourselves and your petty groups of foul-mouthed gossips. Keep your gutter-like opinions about me in the sewers of your minds that emit them. I am neither your mother nor your daughter to patronise and threaten.

So what if I called Museveni amatako? So what? The man is busy shitting all over Uganda and you want me to tenderly kiss the buttocks that he has proved himself to be! Dimwits! He shits in our democratic elections. He shits in our governance. He shits in our judiciary. He shits in our economy. He shits in our cultural values. He shits and farts all over our military. He shits in our foreign relations. He is now even publicly shitting in the meaning of the position, roles, duties and posture of the presidency.

If you want to praise Museveni for shitting all over Uganda, go ahead! I will not stop you. If you prefer to tell Museveni that whenever he gases into Uganda’s affairs, you enjoy his fart as one enjoys perfume, go ahead! If you want to look on in silence whenever the buttocks publicly excrete on Ugandans, go ahead! It is your prerogative.

For me, I refuse to cuddle this venomous snake that killed my father and then killed my mother. I refuse to praise this rapist of our dear Constitution and desecrater of our Ugandan flag. I refuse to be silent. Instead, I fire the bullets of my colourful pen at his misrule. Indeed, Museveni matako nyo! Now what?


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Ashley Kembabazi
A bubbly chatterbox on the streets of campo. I am paid to gossip, duh!

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