Makeup; cosmetics and other substances applied to the skin to improve it’s appearance. The truest term to define the phenomenon. Makeup is like clothes, it’s been around forever. The Great Gatsby times embraced it, Marilyn Monroe’s signature red lip still burns in our minds and Naomi Campbell’s natural glow makeup still lives on. However I feel people have embraced it way more nowadays. Every woman applies makeup, be it the high class women down to the tomato lady in Katanga; everyone is hooked. Hell, they might not be doing it well but they are doing it. Sadly not everyone can pull off the fleek eyebrow or the smocky eye, some of you are disasters at the makeup game, here’s why you looking funny with makeup.

It’s too much.

Makeup is like clothes. There’s a type of makeup for every occasion. Nothing screams too much like those bright eye shadows, they set me into an induced shock every time I see a girl parading around with heavy sky blue eye shadow–like bubu, do you not own a mirror? This eye shadow is fine but it has a time and place. A fancy cocktail party at night will work perfectly for this kind of makeup no problem. If you’re just going for lectures, a smocky eye or black eye shadow is good enough.

You are doing it wrong

Sweetheart, the eyebrow thing is not for everybody. If you haven’t learnt how to make your eyebrows turn up then take to Youtube and learn the tutorials. Better yet, watch some of your friends do it. Don’t draw an arch on your eyebrow that you don’t have. You shape dem things according to how your eyebrows are shaped. Then the foundation, mama you trying to go light? Shades of foundation are set in layers to accommodate every skin color. A dark girl can’t do a light foundation and not have people gasping in horror. It’s because you’re looking like an anabelle lookalike doll in a thrift shop.

The wrong makeup 

Girls you need to understand, not every lip shade or lipstick is going to work for you, these things are relative. Yes Kylie put out a new lipstick line but do any of those shades work for you? The matte is not for everyone, understand that the shinny lip shades are more up your alley and quit the rest.

It’s smudged or messed up.

Now, Avril Lavigne killed it all the time with the smudged eye liner in her day. All the female rock stars were aboard the hype. However, you are no rock star so you just seem… what’s the word… pathetic, with smudged eye liner or lipstick or anything. It’s like having chipped nails; like girl, c’mon if you are going to paint your nails or apply makeup, it shouldn’t look gross.

You’re only looking funny because you’re allowing yourself to look funny. Learn your skin tone, learn the different kinds of makeup and then you will be perfect.

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Amisha Mukasa

Lifestyle and entertainment stole my heart. Taking the humorous way out of any situation defines who I am and what I write. amishamukasa@gmail.com


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