I for the life of me have never grasped the rationalisation that men use to go about their day. Even the smartest, most powerful and extremely good looking guys do the weirdest stuff. That’s something I wouldn’t say resonates with women, we girls be different, honestly, you can generalize the entirety that is men and fail to do so with women. Guys why do you do this weird stuff?

Grabbing your junk.

I get it, having an external body part wiggling around all day uncontrollably may discomfort you but the grabbing is like… why? Why dude? And I’m not talking about the grabbing done by Usher in the “No limit” video– that was irresistable, I’m talking about the gross kind. Does it itch? Is it too heavy? Like what is the whole thing? Really I want to know.

Choosing football over anything.

I have never seen so much attentiveness in my life. You will tantalize this man in cute lingerie but as long as Barca is playing Atletico Madrid, that man will literally shove your bare ass to the side. Dude, Ronaldo isn’t the one going to whisper sweet nothings to you later so what’s your whole deal? See girls love telemudo but she will shut that thing down if her man is in the room and wants her undivided attention, why? She knows those fleek nikes coming out soon ain’t gonna buy themselves. Priorities dude, priorities.

The spreading of legs.

Is it a manly thing of some sorts, throwing one leg to the east and the other the west, who are you trying to show off to? Again, this might be a health issue, I heard those bad boys need some breathing space now and again, so hell I might need to be schooled. Girls are told from the age of 3 months, “keep those knees together girl, don’t let your panties show.” It was a form of saying you keep those knees apart and here comes the bastards, STDs and the like. So you know why we always seated the way we do so how about you? What’s the scrotum display for?

Bragging about sleeping with a girl

You folk are lucky, you get to walk around with the words man whore on your foreheads and have no one batt an eye. You are actually instead applauded for it by your fellow men. Humanity, you’ve got to love it’s equality. So you got a girl to let you do things to her, what is the big deal? This deed has been happening from the beginning of time and will continue to do so long after you’re gone, what’s the whole thing? You will have a couple of guys all huddled up propping the one that got laid, more so if the girl was a hard lay, that dude is getting mad respect from his guys for a while. Like what? Dude, you are a walking sex machine, known to many as a whore, what is so appealing about that? Lord help my future son for I will slap him senseless if he ever brags about the nothingness of laying a woman.

So got that off my chest, the men in my life are making me run crazy with these mannerisms.

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Amisha Mukasa

Lifestyle and entertainment stole my heart. Taking the humorous way out of any situation defines who I am and what I write. amishamukasa@gmail.com


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