Friend-zoning, your crush/lover’s ability to crush your soul by pointing you out as just friend or even worse, as a chosen sibling. There are different ways in which you may be friend-zoned. You are kicking it with this chic, taking her to fancy places, stealing kisses from her here and there but when she’s around people she declares you as nothing but a friend… ouchhh. Then there’s the other way; the loser way I might call it, liking this girl so profoundly, treating her to nice things but never inciting romantic feelings. Girl hasn’t even pecked you on the cheek but you are holding out hope; that’s a friendzone in the making. Here are some reasons you are always being friendzoned.

You are too nice

Have you met a guy that’s too nice it’s annoying? Not a good look on any man, don’t care if you slightly look like Michael Ealy, no girl wants a sissy for a man. Grow some balls and say no once in a while. If I am having my way with you every single time then it gets boring. Be a man, stop with the on-the-hour check-ins and missionary styles in bed. Boringgg!!!

Failing to communicate right.

Three movies, “no strings attached” ” Friends with benefits” and “two-night stand”. These are some of the movies our generation has grown up on so the classic ways of dating and picking sexual partners have changed drastically. Now if you don’t tell me that you think the world of me then how am I to know that you do? It’s nerve wracking I know, but at least you get a peace of mind. Other than dragging yourself along, spending on KFC buckets and Century cinema’s Maniac Mondays. Communicate.

You’re embarrassing 

The first thing that comes to my mind is your style, then your hygiene… then your style again. Dude, why are you still wearing fake nike flip flops from Kikuubo? No, wear those at home with granny, when we go out, I want you in moccasins like a normal guy with impeccable style. Then personal hygiene… I won’t bother hinting on this, that’s your mama’s job. No one is signing on to an embarrassment, don’t care what game you have!

Always assuming the friendly role

Yes, I bet every girl would want to date her best friend so it’s cool to start out friendly but dude,  not too friendly. You find yourself being a friend to almost every girl you are into, why? You approached the field with that strategy. While other guys are quick to jump her bones, you are quick to nurse her broken hearts. You’re practically her gay best friend. 

The friend-zone, you can’t really escape it, we have all been friendzoned now and again. The trick is learning to not have this predicament time and time again, rather a bad boy than a nicey nicey friend.

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Amisha Mukasa

Lifestyle and entertainment stole my heart. Taking the humorous way out of any situation defines who I am and what I write. amishamukasa@gmail.com


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