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Many people my age are masquerading in sexual relationships, falling in and out of love freely and their sex life is not under scrutiny by family and friends. I am an exception. I only got my first wet dream at age 19 and many of my colleagues and teachers said that it was abnormal.

I have tried masturbation, but I have never reached ejaculation. My previous ex also dumped me because she claims I never really made her feel like a woman. I even tried avoiding sex and I turned to cuddling but for a girl, a girl that you love, that just isn’t enough.

Loving is not my problem, but most of the girls that have loved me back have run away claiming my dick game is too boring. So for a while I quit dating but my family and friends think I have a sexually incorrect mind and it hurts because there is no way I can tell them that I have a low sex drive.

Could my low sex drive be caused by low enjoyment of sexual intercourse, the lack of orgasm, or a side effect of anxiety?

Shares Julius from Uganda Christian University [UCU] Mukono Campus

Take your time to learn who you are sexually, and understand that you do not need to rush into sex because you don’t have a diagnosable condition related to low libido. Rather, considering your age, anxiety and lack of experience, I would suggest you are at a normal, and early stage of sexual discovery. Look for ways to reduce your anxiety, such as exercise, meditation and any other formal treatment.  If you do not feel attracted to – someone, do not attempt intimacy with them. Focus on developing a sincere, loving and trusting relationship with another person – This is the necessary first step in sexual discovery.

Andrew Kizito is a doctor at Mulago 


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