A year ago I was doing my internship for a very cool law firm around Kampala (that i wont disclose due to certain circumstances) and felt freaking awesome about it. Do you know the feeling you get when your job interview goes really well, you get along with your boss, you have great colleagues, and the whole environment seems chill and relaxed and of course, you have that ka internship salary? Yep! That is the feeling I had when I walked out of the door after the interview.
Not too long after I started working there, I noticed that there was
tension between me and my boss. I wasn’t sure where this came from; in the beginning I thought it was just me being weird and overreacting. The tension started to get more noticeable and I started receiving inappropriate comments from him. It started with him saying how nice and beautiful I looked, how well my clothes suit me, and how feminine my body was.
Is he just trying to be really nice to me or what? Something felt really wrong and things quickly escalated. Soon he started touching and grabbing my hands with every opportunity he got. He once stood right behind me, and when I say this I mean RIGHT behind me in his office when i was delivering some files to him because he had to ‘grab some papers’. The moment I got
really freaked out was when he ‘spanked’ me in the hallway when I walked passed him. This was it, I was done with it. I couldn’t help but think, “Where is your respect and professionalism towards me? Is this normal and okay?”
At this point I was really stressed out. My internship deadline was
approaching and I wasn’t feeling comfortable at work. I started doubting myself and my behavior. Was I being provocative or was I dressed inappropriately for the office? Did I say something that could have made him act like that? These were questions that were running through my head every day. Even though I know I did nothing wrong, I couldn’t help but wonder.
The only thing I regret is that I did not say or show that his behavior bothered me from the beginning. I was worried about speaking up, I even thought that by saying something I was risking to get fired. I couldn’t find the right timing or words to stand up for myself. But really, how do you tell your co-worker or employer to stop harassing you without damaging your relationship with that person?
I lived this and from my own experience I can give every woman this advice. If this or something similar has happened or is happening to you do not think that it is okay – it is definitely not and you should reach out for help. Even if you think it is not necessary.
First of all – stand up for yourself and be straight to this person. You are a strong and independent person and you will not allow anyone to mistreat you like that. Letting someone know that you are not okay with this kind of harassment can prevent a lot! You set your own boundaries and others should simply respect them. If this is not the case, and you feel that you cannot handle the situation anymore, reach out to someone you trust.
If you are doing an internship like I did, your university is a great place to start. Universities are responsible for their students and most of the times they will do everything they can to help. Practical stuff such as leaving the firm(like i did) or getting placed somewhere else are issues your school can easily resolve. It is up to you to ask for help and support.
If you think this situation has damaged you a lot more and you would like get professional support there are plenty of institutions you can approach. In Uganda you can visit FIDA Uganda – the association of Uganda Women Lawyers and there they will provide you all the support and information you need(even to sue that Bastard like i did).
….as narrated to Writer by a MUBS 3rd year student that preferred
anonymity.
