Every extreme alcohol consumer has those moments when they have to consume sweet alcohol. At times its because you want to look cool, impress someone, or the sweet alcohol is free. But sometimes you just have to surprise your tongue with a sweet drink. Your liver won’t be surprised though but it’s something you ought to try.
Today I got a call from Lina, an old friend I met at one of those fancy cocktail parties. Lina called me asking if I would be at my place for during the evening hours. It was at this point that I realized that all my alcohol in reserve was hard and there was nothing ‘fancy chic’ friendly. I thought about ignoring her preferences but the shot of Smirnoff Vodka gave me an idea. I remembered that most sweet alcohol is made from hard stuff.
I quickly grabbed a bike to Nakumatt and stock up some fancy liquor brands. I pick a trolley while scrolling through my phone for easy ‘Do It Yourself’ cocktail. I stock up 24 cans of Smirnoff Guarana, together with a two bottle of Smirnoff Vodka, a rather expensive bottle of Smirnoff Vodka Raspberry, some lemons, Splash and 4 fancy cocktail glasses. The supermarket teller gave me a priceless look that read “Lord have mercy” she entered kept entering the drinks into the system.
I had to take a cab back to my place since the drinks were too heavy for me to carry. On arrival ‘general Benja’ gave me a hand in lifting them up to my room. I gave him 4 Guarana cans which he galloped like water since we claim that Guarana is water for booze war generals.
At around 3pm, My ringtone went off as I organised my room, I picked up and the lovely voice of Lina asked me come pick her from the gate. I sloped downstairs where she gave me one of those ‘fellowship style’ hugs that have a tonne of distance while looking all fancy.
Lina had a bright smile after entering my room. She told me how she was impressed with what I had done in regard to her visit. I quickly gave her a can of Guarana which she sipped as though she was from a marathon of Thirst.
I mixed Guarana, with Smirnoff Raspberry and a cut lemon and put it in a fancy glass which I handed over to Lina. I one the other hand, poured a bare Smirnoff Vodka into a glass and took a German dose. We switched the music to Pop and EDM to suit the fancy drinking.
At around five, I managed to convince Lina to take just one shot. She offered to do this as a favour to me. I gave her a shot of Smirnoff Vodka Raspberry which tasted so sweet that she filled her glass. Little did she know that it carries the same alcohol percentage as it’s mother, the traditional Smirnoff vodka.
We downed about half the bottle as she told me stories of how she bullies guys who try to vibe her at the bar. Lina always asks cocktails which most guys are not willing to buy since they cost the price of about four beers.
At 6 Lina was drunk as she started twerking and dancing like Miley Cyrus. Unfortunately she happens to be close to my one and only, which meant I had to keep away from certain borders but some things places have no customs officers. ??
I was having fun until, I got a call from one of those public relations officers asking me to come for a Smirnoff Pre-party. I definitely couldn’t refuse such an offer so I went and took a shower. Lina was high, started drying me with my tower. I then asked her to take a plane back to my friend zone.
As we we’re leaving, Lisa packed 4 Guarana cans while I galloped two cans of Smirnoff Guarana. I then held the two bottles which we would drink along our way.
At 7pm Lina killed me with laughter as she bargained with the Cab driver in broken luganda. The conversation had phrases like “the distance is kumpi, short short, ” but we can blame the sweet alcohol for this.
We checked in for the Smirnoff PreParty where we began another adventure of drinking. The drinks were cold and Lina was opening her wallet wider than she opens her legs while drunk. But how could I refuse those cocktails.
I can no longer write propalyy which means I will see you next time.
Editor’s Note: The writer writes these stories based on real life experiences while drunk
