When you join campus, one of the best things is that you get to be whoever you want to be. You meet all sorts of people from all walks of life. Different backgrounds with different aspirations. Unlike high school, being different is okay. This is the time to find yourself, emotionally, socially, professionally also sexually. Casual sex or sex with multiple partners isn’t stigmatized like it might have been a few decades ago, but there can be a stigma around being a virgin, unfortunately. However, having sex or not is an individual’s decision entirely, and that it’s completely okay either way. That’s why we put together the reasons why being a virgin in campus is nothing to worry about.
1. You know what you want and you stand by it.
Whatever your reasons are for staying a virgin thus far, your first time obviously means a lot to you. And with good reason! You absolutely should feel comfortable with the person to whom you lose your virginity, whether you’re simply waiting for someone you like enough, or you want to be in a committed relationship first. You definitely have a right to be picky. You deserve only the best.
2. With Virginity, there are no deadlines.
Society often makes us feel like there’s a perfect age for every romantic milestone: for our first kiss, our first time having sex or our wedding day, for instance. However this is not the case! You should feel free to take things at your own pace without worrying about what others have to say about it. You are at campus, and you have all the time in the world ahead of you. Besides, waiting makes everything better.
Sex shouldn’t be just a ‘thing’ that happens. It should be special and meaningful (contrary to popular belief) there’s absolutely no rush. Saying ‘no’ isn’t a bad thing.
3. Your true friends will support you.
If you decide to talk about your virginity with your friends, their support of you will say a lot about them. If they don’t, you need new friends. The people around you should never make you doubt your choices, and if you’re happy with being a virgin, that’s truly all that matters. “I have been dating my boyfriend since my Form 3” says Leila”, now a finalist at Entebbe based Nkumba University. “We have decided to remain virgins until marriage. The feedback that I hear from people who discover this about me is supportive and encouraging and I feel very proud of myself and my boyfriend for our decision to wait.”
4. You are not alone.
Although it may feel like you’re the only one at campus who has never had sex, that’s not the case. Many campusers brave the sex-filled environment that campus life is and in the end manage to live normal lives. Remember, if having sex is normal to them, then being a virgin should be normal to you.
5. In the end, it’s not even that big of a deal.
The concept of virginity is truly only what you make of it. Virginity is a social construct that our society has built up into this overly important, life-defining thing. Your virginity doesn’t define who you are in any way. Your personality and accomplishments matter a thousand times more, and anyone who can’t see that just isn’t worth your time. Essentially, the concept of virginity is almost used to shame girls for their sexual experience, or lack thereof, and that just shouldn’t be the case. Calling someone a virgin is defining them by one thing, when they’re so much more than that. Remember, not having sex is part of your life, not all of it.
So basically, while at university, it is time to create one’s own path, and if virginity is a part of that, then that’s totally okay. Nobody has the right to make you feel like your decisions aren’t worthy, or like you’re different or strange in any way. Many campusers are virgins and perfectly happy with it, be it by choice or by chance.