My mother and I are good friends,(rare huh) we talk about everything moms shouldn’t talk about with their daughters but of late, a fascinating notion crawled its way into our conversation cache and she is crazy about it; The proverbial myth that when you leave campus without hooking a “future partner”, then you will search till the cows come home, literally meaning till Jesus comes to earth and unless you are Jesus himself, we know that’s forever. Well, I can’t disagree with her because you see, a lot of graduates have fallen victims. But I won’t let you, my lovelies fall in that irredeemable trench, a reason I will let you in on the Beekipedia of which campus provides the best queen bees if your stings ever grow sharp enough to hunt for nectar.
MUK GIRLS: Walking A.T.M’s
If you are searching for looks this is a score, though we can’t guarantee that especially in law, literature and medicine faculties. Please don’t look into those faculties unless you want to give birth to a smigo (lord of the rings, anybody?) But MUK girls have been hailed for their latest sense of style, the kind of trophy wife you will be so proud to show off to all your friends and family.
However, good things do not come cheap. These girls know exactly what they want in terms of branding and sizes. Their price tags are the kind that will shoot holes in your wallet. She will put up with all your issues and support you but if you are looking for a cook, you are definitely looking in the wrong direction. We are talking babes that take breakfast at Fangfang, lunch at Serena, evening tea at KFC and dinner at Protea, shaaa, such keepers will take your life with them.
MUBS LADIES: Marry A Mubs Girl, Marry The Whole Clan
From hearsay, these ladies are fun lovers who enjoy being picked up from their hostels in posh cars with a horde of friends. That indicates that dating them translates into dating their friends too, and enduring housing them the whole night in a series of top hang outs as they ignore you and jazz about the boring lecturer and after such, armed with the knowledge that they are having fun on your account, they will collect the audacity to ask for up keep when you drop them at hostel. When I ponder on what character of a wife can blossom from this statement.
I predict a girl who will take some time before she is ready to let you tie her down with a ring. And if you finally succeed, she still goes partying regardless of whether you join her or want to just sit home and enjoy a football match. Also expect occasional groups of girls frequenting your home for visits. By the way, these ladies do not settle to laugh on bicycles, they rather cry in limousines. So buckle up, you still have to widen the walls of your wallet. Anyway, who are we to judge, we all go through that crazy stage so maybe they will outgrow it at some point. Though undermining the saying that “old habits die hard” is not a good idea on these ones, they are the type you marry and take with them the whole clan.
U.C.U GIRLS: Abore In Bed
A UCU girl is the kind that is waiting for prince charming to come and sweep her off her feet. But they are the typical “Daddy’s girls. They are the most protected girls, comprehensible by being put into another secondary school of sorts rather than an actual university. If you are considering to get your wife from here, you have to be worthy in the eyes of the father or risk a gunshot in your leg (that is if you are lucky any way). They are submissive and holy; she will drag the whole family to church to your house every time you raise your voice at her. However, these girls are two faced. Saints during day and vampires at night because well, they missed learning what we learnt in high school and now are shooting sex tapes to compensate. The things they do behind closed doors make you wonder if they are really Christians. Let’s not even go to the point of sex tapes… but that doesn’t mean they are accomplished sex-maniacs, they are a real bore in bed,…Marry at owner’s risk!
KYAMBOGO GIRS: The Ugly Singers, Will Marry A Man
The philosophy of Kyambogo is ‘the beautiful ones are not yet born’. Girls in this campus are certainly no sleeping beauties. They have got the brains though. These girls are the type that will plan for you, support you financially and will not depend on you for anything. But before you go running to grab that ring, consider being open-minded about having a second man in the house. These girls put the idea of women emancipation to a whole new level. At the first sign of oppression, she will strike and Bukedde will hear about it. If you are looking for a submissive wife, this is a wrong stop look elsewhere. She is a hard worker and that alone translates into being loaded so she won’t be tamed and neither will she be respectable but the opposite, they are a no go area.
NKUMBA GIRLS: Taught Well By Senga’s
These ladies have a number of wife qualities on them. They are submissive, loving, motherly and good looking (so we are told). A distinctive traditionalist, who will kneel when you get home and welcome you, thanks to the kisakate, take water to the bathroom for a man, And for the case of showers, she will stand by the shower slab and help you turn it on and off and occasionally, she will throw in a helping hand in scrubbing even the nastiest of places. I wonder what else you would want from a wife. But just make sure she is a stay home wife because the moment she mingles it will make the biggest humiliation of your life. These girls speak less English am starting to believe Luganda is a compulsory course unit at Nkumba.
Ok, is there a better way to conclude this than detaching myself from it? Please don’t call me to ask for advice because am not a senga, or pastor or those silly things that are starting to crop out of your perverted minds. i just put my research in a satirical perspective and yes it might make some of you cringe in hatred, the intention was a normal guide, similar to the opinion you have except I wrote mine down.