I love getting high but mark my words ‘high not wasted.’ I must admit I really like watching wasted people because the scene gets very hillarious before it turns nasty. Last night was no different.
At around 8pm, I took a walk through the streets of Wandegeya in search of some supper. Little did I know, I would witness one of the best blackouts. This was even better than the time someone blacked out on a urinal wall in a top bar. This guy literally tapped out in the middle of the road in Wandegeya. He laid drunk and helpless on the tarmac at a peak hour.
Sad enough, it was someone I knew. We used to call him Kinda back in high school. A minor traffic jam built up as Don, a drunk friend tried to wake him up. Unfortunately a blind man can not lead another. I met some old boys who carried Kinda by the shoulder away from the streets. I helped Don get off the streets because he couldn’t walk straight.
Kinda and Don were literally dragging their feet as two semi-pro rugby players carried them. This night reminded me never to underestimate the heaviness alcohol will add to one’s weight when they have blacked out. The ‘pencil thin’ Kinda was extremely heavy and unsettled as he kept losing balance as we carried him.
Kinda told me he was flying like superman and made a hard fist which landed on a passerby. This stressed campuser was not slow at returning a jab which landed on of the guys carrying Kinda. Don kept on telling us that he had learnt a new dance stroke which he was trying to show us but we were holding him. In his drunken state, he failed to realise that he couldn’t stand upright so we left him a bit and he staggered to nearby car for support around university hall. If this was his idea of dancing, then Daxx Kartel should make a remix of Baala and these guys should feature in the video.
I realized the situation was getting out of hand. I suggested that we place them on the dark sitting corner before you enter UH hall as we find a solution. Kinda and Don slept on the thing like it was a new mattress made of dirty concrete. I called a friend from UH to accommodate these drunkards for the night because their residence was too far for any of us to endure.
We got help from another friend to aide in the carrying of these fallen booze veterans. Kinda was so heavy that carrying him side by side was difficult since he was dragging his feet. I quickly grabbed his feet and we carried him past the gate so that the embarrassment was minimal. Don was also struggling but one person was able to aide him through the gate but the challenge came at the stairs. Luckily one of our friends strained all the calories from ‘kikomandos’ and carried Kinda on his shoulders up to the room.
It was funny as Kinda’s head kept hitting walls as he was being carried but I kept stopping it from hitting the wall a few times. Nevertheless the scene was just hilarious. We entered the room and both Don and Kinda both slid onto the carpet since they couldn’t support themselves. I could hear a rather low tone asking, “Why have I stopped flying” as Kinda finally tapped out.
“Which accident did the guy get?” asked the roommate upon seeing the dirty clothes and vest of Kinda. We laughed and told him that the guy was so drunk he blacked out in the middle of a road in Wandegeya. He asked whether the drinks these guys drink are native or only available to a few because this level of drunkenness was bizarre.
Don told us that he had drunk too much Uganda Waragi. In fact he had drunk Uganda Waragi sachets worth 50,000/- which had been sponsored by a friend whom he had taken long without seeing. He incited that he was still steady enough to reach his residence but he couldn’t leave Kinda because his state was alarming.
I asked Don why he had been a bad friend since he had let Kinda drink himself to pulp. He gave one of the most interesting drunken responses I have heard in awhile.
“I can’t transfer my steadiness to another person, how do I give him my soberness when he is drunk,” responded Kinda. We all burst into laughter as we seemed to agree with what he was saying. He even dared me to make him sober.
At around 9pm, this short comedy had bored me since the two boys had blacked out. We left them in the room as we went to buy supper. I bought some chips and a rolex but the sight of a ‘Bond 7’ zinge excited my throat. I bought it and went to my room and ate the food hurriedly.
I then sipped the Bond 7 as I narrated the events of the evening to a lady friend who had visited. She kept one telling that I shouldn’t drink anymore. She in fact took the bottle away from me as she left. But You can never be sure of campus girls, she must have taken it to her broke friends who are good guzzlers.
I typed this as I drunk from some the reserve alcohol I always have in my room. Yes I didn’t go to the bar that night but hey, that will be in another drunken tale.